2011-05-17, 03:16 AM
Your ideal, not other people's ideal. Parenting is a very very personal thing - it's your child. I cannot force on you what your ideal is, and neither can you, because it [again] is subjected to the influences of the society, the culture and your own experience. Or most directly, your partner. I really really cannot stop repeating this: your happiness is not their happiness, even if your happiness would be agreed/accepted/a-whatever by the majority. One man's flesh is another man's poison. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. That is why I chose to remain neutral - conflicts come about because PoV clashes get too personal.
Ah so your example includes guidance and not a totally hands-free thing. Hmm fine - that's pretty much closer to what I'd do too actually [nevermind the details].
In your example, I'm going to turn it around a little. The child gets rewarded with not needing to wake up that early to prepare breakfast if she gets 90+. That is really, really, more like a reward than a necessity. Or wait... actually... could you define what is "waking up early"? 5am? 6am? 7am? 8am? Not that familiar with this side of the world... I have friends who wake up at 4.30am just to get from Johor Bahru to [my] school - there's very little the parents can do for them. Make their own breakfast, travel on their own blah blah... I'd call that independence. Fine the age does make a difference - age of 8 is really quite tender, but not that young either [to me]. But if they can take their own meal into their own hands, isn't that also a step towards independence and maturity? Right now as I'm typing this, I have absolutely no idea if you'd agree on this, but back in SG this would be given a good nod AND a shake of the head - half would say wow the child is able to stand on her own feet and prepare her own meals, half would say oh dear such a poor thing for the child to have to prepare her own breakfast. Kind of LoL actually. There are always two sides to the argument, and at the end of the day it's between the parent(s) and the child.
What do I think? I don't want to disturb my parents and I want them to rest, so I do everything myself.
Also, I won't be very happy if people kicked down my door and told me off for not parenting correctly. [well that's obviously an exaggeration]
Hadriel
Ah so your example includes guidance and not a totally hands-free thing. Hmm fine - that's pretty much closer to what I'd do too actually [nevermind the details].
In your example, I'm going to turn it around a little. The child gets rewarded with not needing to wake up that early to prepare breakfast if she gets 90+. That is really, really, more like a reward than a necessity. Or wait... actually... could you define what is "waking up early"? 5am? 6am? 7am? 8am? Not that familiar with this side of the world... I have friends who wake up at 4.30am just to get from Johor Bahru to [my] school - there's very little the parents can do for them. Make their own breakfast, travel on their own blah blah... I'd call that independence. Fine the age does make a difference - age of 8 is really quite tender, but not that young either [to me]. But if they can take their own meal into their own hands, isn't that also a step towards independence and maturity? Right now as I'm typing this, I have absolutely no idea if you'd agree on this, but back in SG this would be given a good nod AND a shake of the head - half would say wow the child is able to stand on her own feet and prepare her own meals, half would say oh dear such a poor thing for the child to have to prepare her own breakfast. Kind of LoL actually. There are always two sides to the argument, and at the end of the day it's between the parent(s) and the child.
What do I think? I don't want to disturb my parents and I want them to rest, so I do everything myself.
Also, I won't be very happy if people kicked down my door and told me off for not parenting correctly. [well that's obviously an exaggeration]
Hadriel