"Tiger" Parenting.

are at the interface, though starting to lean on the Western side, but we're still very Asian.

So... are you trying to prove which mindset is correct and/or wrong? Is freedom of choices really always better than a moderate form of "tiger parenting" (I say that because I, as mentioned earlier, do not partake with the more extreme sides of that).

Oh by the way, I realised that "strict parenting" is so subjective.

Hadriel

Got to be honest, I love how you attacked this reply, while I don't agree with you, you definitely have put a lot of thought into the subject. However, I'm going to start by asking you if you have a basis for comparison. Living in Canada, I see all kinds. Sheltered kids, Tiger-parented kids, I knew 2 kids who were getting close to the extreme side of tiger parenting, though not there. Then there were kids like me, who were supported through thick and thin.

 Spoiler

Don't get me wrong, when my grades dropped off from 90+'s across the board by roughly 10% through the last 4 years of school my parents were less than pleased, but I didn't suffer for it in the slightest

The kids who were tiger-parented, especially the 2 that were done to extremes ended up with rotten senses of humor, they almost lacked the ability to have sporadic fun. As if it had to be time-tabled. Rules and guidelines were like shackles that held them fast to a way of life that quickly is becoming obsolete. I feel bad for them, they could be so much more. The sheltered kids, the ones who Mommy and Daddy cradled to sleep until they were 12 came out slightly socially awkward. Naive and accepting of everything, and believing that people were good natured by heart and that everyone wanted to be friends deep down. I feel bad for them too, as one day reality is going to kick them in the ass and they'll be left standing in the cold wondering what went wrong. Me? I might be slightly socially awkward, it's not for me to say. That said, I do have a good sense of humor, I'm happy for the most part, I am currently chasing my dream as all young people should and I know that deep down inside the world is a cruel place, which has made me tough enough to take it. So yea, maybe in your society they aren't unhappy, but when they've got little to compare it to, it changes things. I've seen proof of that, which goes beyond my opinion. I guess what I'm getting at is that I enjoy the freedom that my parents have given me, and I'd very much like for everyone to enjoy that freedom. A bit of structure is okay, but you gotta be willing to draw the line, most asian parents draw the line about 12 YEARS too late.

Erm, I guess my post was kinda vague. I meant to say, assume that a child has no interest in either science or piano. His family tiger parents him into becoming a pianist, believing it to be 'right'. But then, they aren't exactly correct, are they? Logically, given the previous scientist example, wouldn't math be a better decision to make their children go for? In terms of career prospects, and the creative aspect of the pianist career that they're denying him by tiger parenting his music. I guess the point I was trying to make was that despite frequent assertions by such parents that they are making correct decisions, they don't always end up pushing their children in the right direction.

Meh, I gotta be clearer...

I have to say, though, that the society also has a fairly huge hand in culling the dream job opportunity. But then, it wouldn't fit in this thread 'cause it's about tiger parenting, not tiger societal norms.

However that's NOT something a tiger-parent would do, because you were right the first time in that tiger-parenting would drive the kid into the sciences. Very little money in music. However you assume that we need to work towards a goal our entire lives. How about letting the kid be a kid, let him/her build dreams and aspirations from the culmination of his/her experiences. In the end, that's all we really are, the culmination of our lives experiences. That IS individuality. Trust me, once a kid finds something to work towards, something they REALLY want, if their parents support them they will go through hell and back to obtain it. THAT is the life I'd wish for all people. Being so self-motivated that they will endlessly push, even their entire life if necessary, to realize it.

I'll make a crucial point here: the parents won't know what the child's calling is until a long time later. So whatever they do may or may not be "right" - it's like a shot in the dark, or maybe a shot-gun approach for many of the more extreme cases I've heard.

And... the child is affected by two key factors: Nature and Nurture. Everything the parents do will affect the child, but nobody knows what happens until the child is sufficiently grown up and interacts with society. I'm sure many parents know about this, so for parents in my society it's tough for them to decide [how to bring up the child].

Hadriel

Kind of responded above. However. You still assume that your parents mean pomegranate all. They do NOT. I cannot stress that enough. The child is plenty capable, given some time, to choose their own calling. In essence, most asian parents have to drop a bit of the responsibility off their shoulders or stop caring about their families petty "honor" for 5 seconds, whichever is the problem in a case by case basis and allow a bit more Nature into the mix, as nurture alone is a proven bad formula. It seems like you put a lot of faith in elders and very little in children. Trust me, we would not have survived as a race if our children(not infants, children) were helpless, and adults are not the all-knowing beings that they sometimes seem to believe they are. Someday when you are a parent, Hadriel, I DARE you to trust in your child. To put faith in them from a young age, to do the right thing, to make their own mistakes and learn by them, but most of all give them the chance to choose their own path. I think you'll find there is a lot of pride to be had, knowing that your DNA, your child, chose a good path for themselves all BY themselves.