2011-05-15, 05:11 PM
To be slightly fair to Amy Chua, her book acknowledged that Tiger parenting doesn't work for everyone and does acknowledge some her faults. Her book is a memoir, not necessarily a Bible for how to parent.
The anecdote about "The Little White Donkey", the song she forced her daughter to learn to perfection, wasn't too horrible and one I could certainly sympathize. The whole idea of laughing about all the trouble once her daughter managed to successfully play the song might seem just wrong to some people, but I disagree. I don't ever think that incidents like these leave the kids to be resentful towards their parents, but I do agree with what Kal said and the idea that incidents like these bear deep mental scars and trauma that leads them to fear punishment that can possibly lead to total deference to authority figures and fear to speak up.
I had zero trouble with elementary school, but there was one thing I didn't understand right away because the teacher didn't really teach it at all. That was long multiplication. I'd get by it by thinking about how to get an answer mentally, but I'd later need to get help. My dad decided to help me one day, and I remember him screaming at me the entire time when I didn't get something that he was showing me. Today, I'm not exactly brilliant at math, but I certainly know how to bear with it and do well enough in a math course. But even today, I still remember about the night my dad kept screaming at me until I cried to learn long multiplication. I don't want to kill him because of it and similar treatment like that and I can still laugh with him and talk with him, but I notice that I really avoid my dad when it comes to talking about problems.
I wasn't totally Tiger parented. I have free time, a social life, and hobbies; just the fact I'm here on Southperry says enough. I'll admit that my parents definitely a lot stricter than the average American parent, though. I do know a lot of classmates who are, however, and while they're pleasant and friendly people to talk to, I'm really annoyed by their attitudes sometimes. These are the guys who conform to the expectations of school. They'll pick extracurriculars not because they want to explore areas of interest or do something they want to do, but they want to make their résumés look good. A lot of band and orchestra kids will stay in the program not because they love music, but because they want to build something impressive for their résumé. They'll sometimes take summer courses to skip pre-requisite courses for higher level ones to make their résumés look more impressive and secure. When we talk about what we want to do after high school, they tell me that they want to pursue the most socially and financially secure occupations- I get "doctor", "business", and "lawyer" a lot. One of my acquaintances I talk to pretty regularly once caught me self-studying Japanese and asked me why I do it. I told him I do it because it's fun, related to my interests, and related to my hobbies. He told me that it wasn't useful, and that Chinese was much better to know, because it has a lot of applications when you work in big businesses, especially international ones.
What Tiger parenting doesn't teach these kids is to be daring. These kids are extreme conformists. They'll conform to the school systems, and as adults, they'll want to stay comfortably in socially and financially secure jobs. It's a pity that such a waste of effort and knowledge is spent on trying to conform with the system instead of becoming leaders, revolutionaries, or innovators by doing something they like and wanting to think outside the system instead of inside it. It truly is. I don't think I meet too many people with goals and dreams they're terribly passionate about, but I can say that these people are better and more interesting people than drones made through Tiger parenting.
The anecdote about "The Little White Donkey", the song she forced her daughter to learn to perfection, wasn't too horrible and one I could certainly sympathize. The whole idea of laughing about all the trouble once her daughter managed to successfully play the song might seem just wrong to some people, but I disagree. I don't ever think that incidents like these leave the kids to be resentful towards their parents, but I do agree with what Kal said and the idea that incidents like these bear deep mental scars and trauma that leads them to fear punishment that can possibly lead to total deference to authority figures and fear to speak up.
I had zero trouble with elementary school, but there was one thing I didn't understand right away because the teacher didn't really teach it at all. That was long multiplication. I'd get by it by thinking about how to get an answer mentally, but I'd later need to get help. My dad decided to help me one day, and I remember him screaming at me the entire time when I didn't get something that he was showing me. Today, I'm not exactly brilliant at math, but I certainly know how to bear with it and do well enough in a math course. But even today, I still remember about the night my dad kept screaming at me until I cried to learn long multiplication. I don't want to kill him because of it and similar treatment like that and I can still laugh with him and talk with him, but I notice that I really avoid my dad when it comes to talking about problems.
I wasn't totally Tiger parented. I have free time, a social life, and hobbies; just the fact I'm here on Southperry says enough. I'll admit that my parents definitely a lot stricter than the average American parent, though. I do know a lot of classmates who are, however, and while they're pleasant and friendly people to talk to, I'm really annoyed by their attitudes sometimes. These are the guys who conform to the expectations of school. They'll pick extracurriculars not because they want to explore areas of interest or do something they want to do, but they want to make their résumés look good. A lot of band and orchestra kids will stay in the program not because they love music, but because they want to build something impressive for their résumé. They'll sometimes take summer courses to skip pre-requisite courses for higher level ones to make their résumés look more impressive and secure. When we talk about what we want to do after high school, they tell me that they want to pursue the most socially and financially secure occupations- I get "doctor", "business", and "lawyer" a lot. One of my acquaintances I talk to pretty regularly once caught me self-studying Japanese and asked me why I do it. I told him I do it because it's fun, related to my interests, and related to my hobbies. He told me that it wasn't useful, and that Chinese was much better to know, because it has a lot of applications when you work in big businesses, especially international ones.
What Tiger parenting doesn't teach these kids is to be daring. These kids are extreme conformists. They'll conform to the school systems, and as adults, they'll want to stay comfortably in socially and financially secure jobs. It's a pity that such a waste of effort and knowledge is spent on trying to conform with the system instead of becoming leaders, revolutionaries, or innovators by doing something they like and wanting to think outside the system instead of inside it. It truly is. I don't think I meet too many people with goals and dreams they're terribly passionate about, but I can say that these people are better and more interesting people than drones made through Tiger parenting.