I know something's wrong with this, I just can't put my finger on it. I'd appreciate if you guys would read it and help me out here.
Prologue
The night dragged on in the jungle basin, the musty swamp air radiating warmly as it tended to do. This region of the planet was exceptionally humid, being situated so far away from the mountainous mainland. The Krakian basin, located in the heart of the island’s badlands, was indeed home to its own strange species of monsters, developing in a manner rather unorthodox compared to their cousins elsewhere on the planet.
It was, so to speak, a pure land. No human or elf ever made permanent residence here; it was too…strange. And too far away. But tonight, the island had been seeing to a visit from a group of people hailing from the continent of Victoria—armymen. Obviously they weren’t here for nothing.
Lucien Renegat, a stern practitioner of the arcane and holy arts, situated himself away from the rest of his regiment. He was concentrating on one thing and one thing only: The diamond that he held directly in front of him. Beads of sweat sapped down the back of his neck and along his face, a result of both the overbearing humidity and the task before him.
Slowly, the diamond, pure and translucent as it was originally, began to cloud with gray, then black. Lucien smirked in satisfaction as the synthesis took place. As he finished, he rolled the newly formed black crystal around in his palms, eyeing it meanly.
It was just a simple alchemic process, transfusing energy from the environment into a jewel, but doing so with dark energy in its pure form was taxing, both physically and mentally, and thus only experienced alchemists could do such a thing without straining themselves to the point of injury.
Eagerly and with a sense of exhilaration, Lucien produced his weapon from its holster at his waist—a staff, made of an adamantium rod and adorned with an arcane crystal at its head which allowed for magic to be channeled through it. This staff, which was quite a common model among Mages like Lucien, was darkly unique—on its butt end was a receiving vessel with five glowing jewels, not unlike the one Lucien had just produced, inserted and fastened into notches.
Lucien inserted his black crystal into the last available slot and, with a low murmur, chanted an arcane spell to channel the jewels' magic into the staff’s head. Slowly, like what had just taken place earlier, the staff's vivid orange clouded with black, while at the same time the six jewels at the bottom of the staff began to dull. Once the process was complete, the jewels became useless, nothing more than drained vessels. Lucien discarded them and, eagerly, wandered deeper into the wilderness.
He didn’t want to arouse suspicion, so he made his journey quick and to the point—he wanted to see if his efforts were worth the trouble. The Priest eyed a creature not too far from where he stood—a gross, miscolored rendition of the common Slime. It would have to do for now.
As the monster slithered around, probably searching for food, Lucien channeled his magic through his staff, preparing a low-level spell. His gaze lay square on his unaware yellow target; smoothly, he brought his staff up and pointed the black crystal towards the Slime. He let loose what would normally be a simple bolt of energy, but, astonishingly, his staff produced something far more potent.
His arm jerked back by the recoil of his spell, Lucien watched in merriment as a sapphire blue missile collapsed into the Slime and detonated, spewing the remains of the slippery creature on the surrounding bushes. Nothing remained where the Slime formerly stood but an acrid gray vapor, shimmying from a scorch mark in the ground.
Satisfied, Lucien Renegat ventured deeper into the jungle, an acid grin wide across his face.
It was, so to speak, a pure land. No human or elf ever made permanent residence here; it was too…strange. And too far away. But tonight, the island had been seeing to a visit from a group of people hailing from the continent of Victoria—armymen. Obviously they weren’t here for nothing.
Lucien Renegat, a stern practitioner of the arcane and holy arts, situated himself away from the rest of his regiment. He was concentrating on one thing and one thing only: The diamond that he held directly in front of him. Beads of sweat sapped down the back of his neck and along his face, a result of both the overbearing humidity and the task before him.
Slowly, the diamond, pure and translucent as it was originally, began to cloud with gray, then black. Lucien smirked in satisfaction as the synthesis took place. As he finished, he rolled the newly formed black crystal around in his palms, eyeing it meanly.
It was just a simple alchemic process, transfusing energy from the environment into a jewel, but doing so with dark energy in its pure form was taxing, both physically and mentally, and thus only experienced alchemists could do such a thing without straining themselves to the point of injury.
Eagerly and with a sense of exhilaration, Lucien produced his weapon from its holster at his waist—a staff, made of an adamantium rod and adorned with an arcane crystal at its head which allowed for magic to be channeled through it. This staff, which was quite a common model among Mages like Lucien, was darkly unique—on its butt end was a receiving vessel with five glowing jewels, not unlike the one Lucien had just produced, inserted and fastened into notches.
Lucien inserted his black crystal into the last available slot and, with a low murmur, chanted an arcane spell to channel the jewels' magic into the staff’s head. Slowly, like what had just taken place earlier, the staff's vivid orange clouded with black, while at the same time the six jewels at the bottom of the staff began to dull. Once the process was complete, the jewels became useless, nothing more than drained vessels. Lucien discarded them and, eagerly, wandered deeper into the wilderness.
He didn’t want to arouse suspicion, so he made his journey quick and to the point—he wanted to see if his efforts were worth the trouble. The Priest eyed a creature not too far from where he stood—a gross, miscolored rendition of the common Slime. It would have to do for now.
As the monster slithered around, probably searching for food, Lucien channeled his magic through his staff, preparing a low-level spell. His gaze lay square on his unaware yellow target; smoothly, he brought his staff up and pointed the black crystal towards the Slime. He let loose what would normally be a simple bolt of energy, but, astonishingly, his staff produced something far more potent.
His arm jerked back by the recoil of his spell, Lucien watched in merriment as a sapphire blue missile collapsed into the Slime and detonated, spewing the remains of the slippery creature on the surrounding bushes. Nothing remained where the Slime formerly stood but an acrid gray vapor, shimmying from a scorch mark in the ground.
Satisfied, Lucien Renegat ventured deeper into the jungle, an acid grin wide across his face.