The wall of bricks!!

I send a nuclear bomb, blast radius eight miles
Good job, you figured out how to fire a nuke.

I feed the wall Vitamin-D fortified reduced-fat milk, so it can grow up big and strong, just like its father.
*sigh* The wall does not drink! Its "father" was much stronger, though. (1mil HP!)

You miss by nine miles. I soak the wall with a firehose
You don't make reactions, only I can do that! Good job, you hosed the wall down. (Wall is fire-resistant)

I asked the wall to make babies with me
The wall rejected you. xP

I construct the Fantastic Contraption glitch and throw it at the wall.
It flys over the wall, clipping the top left corner. (-50 HP)

I play chess with the wall.
You play chess, but you get bored because there is no second move.

My turn:
I shoot a fire arrow into the moat, setting it on fire. The wall, since it is fire resistant, takes no damage.

The poisoned cloud crashes into the ground. However, nothing happened to the wall or moat.
Wall HP= 149,940
Other characters, effects, and objects:
~The wall is 1.5x its original thickness and has been reinforced with steel and magic enchantments. (+200 wdef and mdef)
~A moat filled with butane surrounds the wall. The moat is on fire, spreading aerosol poison to those who come nearby.
~The wall is coated with Francium. It's radioactive, but that does not affect the wall.
~A cross is hanging on the wall. Its powerful enchantments protect the wall. (Mdef +300)
~The wall has been hosed down and is fire-resistant.
Alloy: Golden Hammer, Skill 'Improvability Drive'
Berserker101: 1 bottle of the finest scotch
Misc.:
erich is a spirit (like MS). He may not grab anything, and is immobile, but can otherwise participate.