ITT: Illogical things your parents said to you when you were a kid

It was hands down the oddest thing I've ever heard from my mother. Almost as disturbing as her "I've tried it before, it hurts, I bled for days and you wouldn't enjoy it".

I wouldn't like to know my mother tried fu'cking down the butt. It may have happened, yes, but I don't want to know it. It's a disgusting thought.