2008-09-04, 11:48 PM
Well, I don't know which is worse, me losing an arm, or a family member losing their life, since I haven't experienced both. No matter what I think, far be it from me to judge how someone else reacts! Really, if they want to mourn, why on earth would I have the right to look down on them for it?
Well, since we're talking in pretty careless terms about people with disabilities, let me dwell on that a bit. How WOULD you want people to react to you if you lost both of your arms? If it comes to that, how would you want people to react to you, if you had had multiple brainstem strokes and not only lost the use of your arms but also your eyelids, voice, mouth, legs, trunk, and a bunch of other voluntary and involuntary muscles in your body?
Sure, you might garner financial support (unlikely if you're not elderly), or uncomfortable sympathy from your friends. But would that really be what you'd want your life to become? People to say, "Oh you poor thing," or even nothing at all? Would you really just want to be pitied? Oh come on. There is so much more to disabilities than just looking at someone and seeing "what someone can't do anymore." There can still be dignity in disability. And, returning to the topic, there can still be dignity in death.
Honouring the dead is a way of respecting each other, and knowing that different people react differently. It's also a way of respecting ourselves, when we look back at our own behaviour and the consequences that came later. No matter what we individually think about how people SHOULD react, we honour the dead in quiet recognition that everyone does behave differently - everyone does still have the right to mourn.
Well, since we're talking in pretty careless terms about people with disabilities, let me dwell on that a bit. How WOULD you want people to react to you if you lost both of your arms? If it comes to that, how would you want people to react to you, if you had had multiple brainstem strokes and not only lost the use of your arms but also your eyelids, voice, mouth, legs, trunk, and a bunch of other voluntary and involuntary muscles in your body?
Sure, you might garner financial support (unlikely if you're not elderly), or uncomfortable sympathy from your friends. But would that really be what you'd want your life to become? People to say, "Oh you poor thing," or even nothing at all? Would you really just want to be pitied? Oh come on. There is so much more to disabilities than just looking at someone and seeing "what someone can't do anymore." There can still be dignity in disability. And, returning to the topic, there can still be dignity in death.
Honouring the dead is a way of respecting each other, and knowing that different people react differently. It's also a way of respecting ourselves, when we look back at our own behaviour and the consequences that came later. No matter what we individually think about how people SHOULD react, we honour the dead in quiet recognition that everyone does behave differently - everyone does still have the right to mourn.