2010-03-29, 02:18 AM
Hmm. Well, to provide background, I had two main inspirations in writing this: This video, and the word "sonata". The whole thing sprouted from the one line that I used the word--I wanted to portray various states of emotion and being by incorporating various sentence structures and word usage. Every convention has to do with what's going on. I suppose I can't explain it very well in concrete statements, so I'll map it out. (I'm sorry if I'm coming on strong with this, I just feel like I need to explain it.)
[spoiler=Not sure why I'm putting this in a spoiler]Paragraph 2: "Am I really going to do this?" -- I tried to capture a minute amount of nervousness here. I didn't put much emphasis on it, evidently. "Contemplation" is really the right word to put on it.
Paragraph 3: Blindly knowing what's coming, if that makes sense. Mainly, I tried to vividly capture as much of the natural scenery here as possible, as to distract from what was actually happening, while at the same time being realistic enough to still acknowledge her growing uneasiness.
Paragraph 4: Building up. You'll notice that the sentence structure gets choppy here, and that's to portray a heartbeat (if you will), growing more and more rapid.
Paragraph 6: This is where I tried to be as eloquent as I possibly could. All the negativity from before is...well, negated, and it suddenly switches to a very positive outlook. Nothing matters (in the context of the paragraph) here. What was happening was a period of euphoria (you know, I hate using words that I used in the actual composition to describe the thing). In the middle of the whole thing, suddenly everything is normal again, and you're pulled out of the whole beautiful scene as quickly as you were introduced to it.
Paragraph 7: This is, for me, what captures the whole picture, and where I might disagree with you. It's just a few words, I'm aware, but like I said before, I intended to use conventions to their full effect to capture the event, and this is what did it for me. A few abrupt words that ended the composition just as quickly as her life was ended--capturing the situation.
I still don't feel like I've explained clearly enough (Not trying to talk down to you, I just feel like I have to explain it), but I don't know how I can go any further.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Not sure why I'm putting this in a spoiler]Paragraph 2: "Am I really going to do this?" -- I tried to capture a minute amount of nervousness here. I didn't put much emphasis on it, evidently. "Contemplation" is really the right word to put on it.
Paragraph 3: Blindly knowing what's coming, if that makes sense. Mainly, I tried to vividly capture as much of the natural scenery here as possible, as to distract from what was actually happening, while at the same time being realistic enough to still acknowledge her growing uneasiness.
Paragraph 4: Building up. You'll notice that the sentence structure gets choppy here, and that's to portray a heartbeat (if you will), growing more and more rapid.
Paragraph 6: This is where I tried to be as eloquent as I possibly could. All the negativity from before is...well, negated, and it suddenly switches to a very positive outlook. Nothing matters (in the context of the paragraph) here. What was happening was a period of euphoria (you know, I hate using words that I used in the actual composition to describe the thing). In the middle of the whole thing, suddenly everything is normal again, and you're pulled out of the whole beautiful scene as quickly as you were introduced to it.
Paragraph 7: This is, for me, what captures the whole picture, and where I might disagree with you. It's just a few words, I'm aware, but like I said before, I intended to use conventions to their full effect to capture the event, and this is what did it for me. A few abrupt words that ended the composition just as quickly as her life was ended--capturing the situation.
I still don't feel like I've explained clearly enough (Not trying to talk down to you, I just feel like I have to explain it), but I don't know how I can go any further.[/spoiler]