An Impressionistic Perspective

This leaves me conflicted. You seem to attempt to make the most of such a small piece (as many impressionist pieces do) through the use of clear and strong descriptions, and in this way, it's successful. Each seems to complement the next, and together, they do paint a very vivid (and thusly grim) picture. However, I also feel that this would benefit from a lesser degree of verbosity. While the descriptions are clear and strong, collectively, they form a very dense piece of literature. It's too heavy in its current state, and the average reader most likely wouldn't properly interpret this without a dictionary handy. Herein lies the problem: would lightening this up dilute the expression?

I appreciate the sardonic humor in "she found herself back on earth." It makes the narrator out to be a rather cold and discerning individual. The description in the fourth paragraph further fleshes out the setting (both mental and physical) as bleak, granting the reader opportunity to empathize with the nameless girl's state of mind. The sixth paragraph's use of terms associated with "beauty" is a clever, and fitting, expression of her fall.

I'm not sure you really need the last line. The previous one would be a strong note to go out on: the comment of this emotionally distant narrator on such a seemingly beautiful event.