2010-03-08, 12:10 PM
For the sake of this conversation let's assume that two hours did indeed pass by.
I'm now stuck in a dilemma of shaving or not shaving. I tried to weigh out the pros and cons while also keeping in mind the Surprise Barrel aspect into the calculation. My mind is a jumble of crossroads right now due to this. If I shave my pubes off, I delete the history of aliens that took refuge in my body. Something like that is the same as taking a pomegranate over Washington's grave and then just leaving it at that. Actually come to think of it, it's something I want to do. I don't find it disrespectful at all since I'm leaving history in the hands of a dead man's corpse. I call that even.
Going back to the problem at hand, another pro is that when I fap madly like an elephant gestating for two years then there won't be much of a mess left. Just wipe the area with tissue/canola oil/chinchilla fur and you're good to go. Compare that to fapping and making a mess all over your pubic hair: not only does it feel gross to have this sticky fluid all over you (imagine molasses) it's most likely to stink later on. If you're the type of person that doesn't take a shower then in a year's time, you will have a frog infestation just as bad as Cane Toads taking over Australia.
Being pubic free also means that if somehow you're having a malfunction while urinating outside your window, the mess is contained only in the skin and not all over the hair where you have to go to the bathroom and start cleaning it out with shampoo, conditioner, and finally peach lotion. Alternatively if you don't have pubic hair, you can do the same thing to have silky-smooth skin that rivals the bottom of a baby.
Having these considerations in hand doesn't justify shaving my pubes. For one thing, how many times a day will I even attempt to urinate outside the window? Actually, how many times will I even have a malfunction while urinating? Another question concerns fapping. How many times will I fap in a day and how frequent will I just stupidly let that green juice fall on my body? I'm not into auto-erotic bukkake so that's highly unlikely.
All of my claims can be refuted by the Surprise Barrel though so back in the problem at hand, my Pubic hair is a free-for-all tournament with infinite players that will last for eight hours. Re-reading the last part of that sentence didn't make much sense...that's probably a factor from me being shave deprived and also sleep deprived.
I developed a new phobia...I can't fall asleep because I have a fear of my pubic hair plotting against me while I sleep. They know the impending doom of being erased from my body. They know of the impending flush down the toilet+Drano Max. They know of the impending doom of being purified in the water plant. My god, they are plotting against me as I speak! If I do shave them and the end up being purified into clean water...this is a hard aspect to grasp. Not only will the pubic hair go back inside me but it will also mutate into some transgender parasite that will be swallowed by all who drink liquids!
I cannot fathom the horror of my pubic hair involving innocent civilians in their vendetta against me. Please if anything, spare those citizens and kill that flying duck.
I'm now stuck in a dilemma of shaving or not shaving. I tried to weigh out the pros and cons while also keeping in mind the Surprise Barrel aspect into the calculation. My mind is a jumble of crossroads right now due to this. If I shave my pubes off, I delete the history of aliens that took refuge in my body. Something like that is the same as taking a pomegranate over Washington's grave and then just leaving it at that. Actually come to think of it, it's something I want to do. I don't find it disrespectful at all since I'm leaving history in the hands of a dead man's corpse. I call that even.
Going back to the problem at hand, another pro is that when I fap madly like an elephant gestating for two years then there won't be much of a mess left. Just wipe the area with tissue/canola oil/chinchilla fur and you're good to go. Compare that to fapping and making a mess all over your pubic hair: not only does it feel gross to have this sticky fluid all over you (imagine molasses) it's most likely to stink later on. If you're the type of person that doesn't take a shower then in a year's time, you will have a frog infestation just as bad as Cane Toads taking over Australia.
Being pubic free also means that if somehow you're having a malfunction while urinating outside your window, the mess is contained only in the skin and not all over the hair where you have to go to the bathroom and start cleaning it out with shampoo, conditioner, and finally peach lotion. Alternatively if you don't have pubic hair, you can do the same thing to have silky-smooth skin that rivals the bottom of a baby.
Having these considerations in hand doesn't justify shaving my pubes. For one thing, how many times a day will I even attempt to urinate outside the window? Actually, how many times will I even have a malfunction while urinating? Another question concerns fapping. How many times will I fap in a day and how frequent will I just stupidly let that green juice fall on my body? I'm not into auto-erotic bukkake so that's highly unlikely.
All of my claims can be refuted by the Surprise Barrel though so back in the problem at hand, my Pubic hair is a free-for-all tournament with infinite players that will last for eight hours. Re-reading the last part of that sentence didn't make much sense...that's probably a factor from me being shave deprived and also sleep deprived.
I developed a new phobia...I can't fall asleep because I have a fear of my pubic hair plotting against me while I sleep. They know the impending doom of being erased from my body. They know of the impending flush down the toilet+Drano Max. They know of the impending doom of being purified in the water plant. My god, they are plotting against me as I speak! If I do shave them and the end up being purified into clean water...this is a hard aspect to grasp. Not only will the pubic hair go back inside me but it will also mutate into some transgender parasite that will be swallowed by all who drink liquids!
I cannot fathom the horror of my pubic hair involving innocent civilians in their vendetta against me. Please if anything, spare those citizens and kill that flying duck.