dontchu wish your girlfriend was

I'm driving down the road on a Saturday night. After all Paul needs someone to be the pilot on this little flight. We get to the liquor store and I stay in the car. 'Cause I'm way too poor which is why we opted out going to bars. All of a sudden I see a blip on my radar. I think she needs help because she's aroused my giant crowbar. I'm feeling suave like James Bond in the movie Spy Who Loved Me. So forgive if I asked her off the bat if she wanted to go to my apartment and do something naughty. I'm open to foreplay of any type. Girl don't you know that you're my Venus and I'm Pompeii awaiting to erupt through my hornpipe. Baby you don't need a scouter to measure the power of my hard-on. That's because it's at the level where you can be sure it'll be an onslaught. Paul came back bringing Everclear and Bacardi. And we all went cruising to the destined college party.