2010-02-24, 08:48 PM
Page One:
Spoiler
Found online
Quote:FUCK OFF. That’s right. I know what you’re thinking: Tila Tequila wrote a book? What does that peach have to say? Can she even FUCKing write?!
Well, APPARENTLY I can. I mean, I write blogs all of the time, don’t I? And someone’s reading them, right? I’ve only got something like three MILLION friends on MySpace. That equals a whole lot of fans…and stalkers…plus plenty of secret admirers, too, who I’m sure are taking a great deal of sick, guilty pleasure in logging on to keep up with what I’ve got to say. I’m tired of giving that pomegranate away for free. So buy my book, peach!
Alright now, don’t get all mad. I’m just telling it like it is. I know a lot of people first perceived me as an obnoxious, slutty bimbo. Not only do I know it…but I’ve learned to embrace it and use it to my advantage. Because while everyone thought I was sitting around my house, practicing my pole dancing, I’ve been building an EMPIRE.
I can hear you being all like, “I still don’t know what the hell she does.” Well, for one thing, I’m a FUCKing author. Yes, DARLING, an author! Doesn’t that sound intelligent? You can add it to my long list of accomplishments, which includes model, singer, actress, clothing designer, reality television star, internet maven, humanitarian and survivor.
SURVIVOR. That last one makes me the proudest. Because it was the hardest to come by, and really, it’s the foundation on which I built everything else. This agro way I have of talking, of telling people to shut the FUCK up when they hate on me…it’s not really the real me. It’s just part of me. It’s the ferocious front I had to put up during all of the years when I was busting my ass, pulling myself up from nothing to finally be someone.
And not just anyone. But someone with her own TV show, “A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA,”…someone who TIME magazine called the Madonna of MySpace… someone who’s been on the cover of STUFF, BLENDER, and KING magazines…someone who’s been on Hot Lists in ROLLING STONE and MAXIM…and best of all, someone who actually feels confident enough to let people get close.