Seriously speaking, the first one lacks commas.
They're both correct, so long as you fix that mistake in the first one. The second choice has better wording though, so I'd stick with that.
Edit- Wait, second one may need a comma in there as well. It flows naturally off the tongue without pause, but I believe that pause is needed in there for this case.
They're both correct, so long as you fix that mistake in the first one. The second choice has better wording though, so I'd stick with that.
Edit- Wait, second one may need a comma in there as well. It flows naturally off the tongue without pause, but I believe that pause is needed in there for this case.