2009-12-23, 03:17 AM
I think about this constantly :\
Granted I have talked a few people out of running away, or commiting scuicide, I don't see how anything would be different had I not been born. In the past years I've fadded into the backround of everything I've taken part of; school, clubs etc. not getting a mention towards any effort I may have put forth. I figured I'd just "Fake it till I make it", but didn't make it anywhere in the end.
All I've done recently is freeload off family that didn't care much for me in the first place. Yea, a few people have an attachment to me now, but really theres a ton of people just like me or better. I see myself as the random guy on your phones contacts that you stop and look at and say "....... The pineapple is this guy??" *delete* But thats just my low self esteem talking.
Not much I can do to change the fact now untill/unlees I move away and start anew. Its rather sad, but I prefer to laugh it off than to cry. And when the thought of leaving the burden of your own death to a single mother comes to, suicide is never an option. So I'm left trying to please people that wouldn't care for my well being had they never caught sight of me.
Granted I have talked a few people out of running away, or commiting scuicide, I don't see how anything would be different had I not been born. In the past years I've fadded into the backround of everything I've taken part of; school, clubs etc. not getting a mention towards any effort I may have put forth. I figured I'd just "Fake it till I make it", but didn't make it anywhere in the end.
All I've done recently is freeload off family that didn't care much for me in the first place. Yea, a few people have an attachment to me now, but really theres a ton of people just like me or better. I see myself as the random guy on your phones contacts that you stop and look at and say "....... The pineapple is this guy??" *delete* But thats just my low self esteem talking.
Not much I can do to change the fact now untill/unlees I move away and start anew. Its rather sad, but I prefer to laugh it off than to cry. And when the thought of leaving the burden of your own death to a single mother comes to, suicide is never an option. So I'm left trying to please people that wouldn't care for my well being had they never caught sight of me.