2009-12-08, 07:29 PM
BombsAway Wrote:I just wrote part one of my story. I started losing interest, I'll pick it up again later. This should provide as a good example for others, though. Hopefully there are more creative/better writers than me though.
Derp! The Black Magician: part one
"Derp... hurpa derp, derp!" Combattente trotted through the funhouse as though he had a secret. He looked around suspiciously before vanishing through a big brown door.
Greg was intrigued, and he wasnt about to let Combattente have fun on his turf. Charging at the door; he smashed it down, only to find there was no one or nothing in sight. It was just a dark, empty room. Greg knew there was something fishy going on. Suddenly he heard it; the squealing of pain or was it pleasure? He placed his ear against the furthest wall.
DERRRRRRRRP, DEEEEEERRRRRRRP!!!
Greg stumbled back, shocked. What could be going on in there? It didnt sound pleasant but on the other hand, most things Combattente said didnt sound pleasant. Greg was determined to find a way in. Thats when he spotted it, a black cloak with golden lining, hanging on the wall. Greg slipped on this cloak, it completely shaded his face, but his eyes seemed to glow. He felt kind of powerful.
With his new-found cloak, Greg ran his fingers across the walls closest to where the squealing was loudest. Finally he found it a knob a secret door! Greg was ecstatic. As he pulled open the door, he was made witness to something terrible something criminal
Combattente lay bent over a short table, a small winged leatty penetrating him from behind.
Derp are you the black magician? Combattente looked at the cloaked Greg. Come on, you can join in. Ive fantasized about this, he smiled a derply smile.
Greg was repulsed but he was also very flattered. Sure, maybe he was being mistaken for someone he wasnt but a compliment is a compliment. Greg decided it was okay, as long as his face wasnt revealed. Sure, what do I do?
Derp, Combattente stood up, Bend over the table wait is your face okay?
Greg panicked, N NO! Its all rotten and skeleton-like. I have been dead for centuries after all! Please, please allow me to keep my face hidden. Im a little self-concious.
I want to say I get it, but Im unable to comprehend shame, derp. But thats fine, have it your way. Its more fun with more mystery. Combattente walked up behind the now bent over Greg and pulled up the cloak around his waste, exposing his ass. DERRRP! He squealed with delight before smacking Gregs ass. Hey, Russt, keep watch at the door if anyone found out I was with the Black Magician, I wouldnt get a chance!
The winged leatty fluttered around the exit. A sweat drop dripped to the ground he had been working hard for a long time under Combattentes rule. He was happy for this change of position.
Greg gulped hard, he had never been with anyone before and couldnt believe he was about to get derpd. It was a scary situation but he steeled himself and prepared for first Quantact.
To be continued
BombsAway Wrote:Contains actual quotes from Greg.
Derp! The Black Magician: Part 2
Greg reached around to cover his hole, wait Im not sure about this. I think I think I need to use the washroom.
Derp, nah, Combattente reassured him, its just stage fright. I can tell youve never done this before. Things were a lot different under your rule; I understand, Ill be gentle at first. But then Im going to pound you back to Tespia. Now remove your hand!
In the doorway the winged leatty braced himself. This was something he had been a part of so many times but it never seemed so real until he saw it as an outsider. He began furiously doing math equations in his head to remove the image.
Combattente pushed his way in without lubrication, and Greg writhed in pain. Hm, maybe it wasnt just jitters. Oh well, hurpa, Im going to keep going, he derped, "I'm mashing your potatoes, how do you like that, Black Magician!?"
"Who needs potatoes when you've got salami," Greg choked, "goes on anything."
Combattente pulled out and started waving his 'salami' around, "Anything, huh?" He ran his salami down Greg's leg. "Even here?" Combattente began furiously stroking his +8 Dragon staff. "How would you like some some salsa with your salami?"
"I would prefer some gravy on my mashed potatoes," Greg screamed.
Combattente responded by jamming it back in just as Hyper Body was cast. There was an eruption not unlike a meteor storm, and Greg, the black magician, fell over exhausted. Combattente stared in shock.
Wow that was incredible, Greg smiled only long enough to notice anger growing over the face of his new lover. Whats the matter?
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP, GREEEEEEGGGG!!! Combattente flew into a fury, his flaccid salami swung wildly, abruptly hitting Greg in the face.
Greg had been unmasked.
To be continued
THAT WAS FUNNY bUT GREG'S WAS FUNNIER
Anyway, congratulations, you were able to combine everything I'm obsessed with in one story. Even Tespia. GG.