wat

One day, a man named Jeremy was walking down the street when his life came to an end due to a car breaking every bone in his body. He was then transported to hell.

"Wh-what am I doing here? What is this?"

"Well Jeremy, this is hell!"

"Wow.. can't believe I ended up here."

"Ahhh don't worry Jeremy! You're gonna love it here, so much stuff to do during the week."

"Like what?"

"Well Jeremy... You like alcohol?"

"Of course I love drinking!"

"Well you're gonna love Mondays! Monday is alcohol day, you can drink all you want. Rum, scotch, whiskey, vodka, beer, wine and get alcohol poisoning, cause guess what? You're already in hell!"

"Wow that's awesome.."

"You like smoking Jeremy?"

"Yeah it's fun to do from time to time."

"Oh ok, well you'll like Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoking day! We got all kinds of cigars and cigarettes, and you can smoke all you want and get cancer, cause guess what? You're already in hell!"

"Wow this is pretty cool..."

"Yeah, what about gambling Jeremy? You like that?"

"When I have the money to do it, of course!"

"Ahh man don't sweat about money! Wednesdays are gambling days. You can gamble all you want and go bankrupt and kill yourself, cause guess what? --"

"I'm already in hell!"

"Hey Jeremy! You got the idea of it, ok well you like dicks?"

"Uh... no?"

"S'hit, then you'll hate Thursdays."