Entry 92. June 20, 2009.
[x] The first time Chad and Rose take Felix to the specialist.
"I don't see how I can't dwell on something like that."
Come, let's go for a walk, Felix.
"A walk...? Where is there to walk in complete blackness?"
There is only nothing because neither of us wish it to be any different.
"You're telling me if I wanted to be in a park, I could change all of this into a park?"
The man smiles. Thousands and thousands of blades of grass sprout from the blackness. Trees materialize from the void. Birds pop out of nothing and flutter through the sky. The Gledenberg Park flows and is recreated in an instant.
It's hard to understand why this surprises you. Are you not accustomed to dreaming? Imagining? This realm, your subconscious, is free for either of us to manipulate at will.
"But I feel like myself. I really feel like I'm standing in our park now."
We wish that was the case, Felix. Unfortunately, it is not. Your body is suffering like it never has before.
---
The ambulance punches through the storm as fast as safely possible. Two men stand over the stretcher in the back, looking at Felix. They fight to stop the bleeding and keep him alive, confused by his current state. Neither can figure out why he passed out so quickly, causing a great sense of urgency.
"Damn, I really messed this up," Chad says, stopping his car along the road. He rubs his head and tries to think of a new plan. He knows he can't let Lizor escape now, or he may never find him. "What use could I possibly still have to that bastard, though..." The storm beats down on his car and obscures his view through the windows. He looks for any sign of another car. No one else is foolish enough to be out in the storm. "I'm sure he snapped at them and has them rushing to finish getting ready. He wouldn't waste his men chasing after me." Chad slams on the steering wheel in frustration. "Dammit. I'm going to have to get my hands dirty."
"Move, move! Get everything ready in that crate! We need this sent by tonight!" Lizor tries to stop his nosebleed while barking orders. "Sir, I understand the urgency, but... In this storm..." the manager says. Lizor slaps him. "Nothing else matters! We ship, TONIGHT!" The men frantically load the crates to meet his demand.
"Chief! I just got word from the Lixmilo Police Department. There's been a shooting in a small apartment complex," he pauses, "and you're not going to believe who they say is the shooter." The Trissany police chief marches over to the officer. "I'm not in the mood for guessing, dammit!" The officer bumbles at the chief's explosive tone and nearly drops his phone. "Kurst! Selest Kurst! Oscar's daughter," he says. The chief rips the phone out of his hand. "This is the chief. You damn well better not be mistaken about this." The officer on the other end assures him they are positive. "Who was shot? What the hell was she doing?" The chief's eyes go blank, and he drops the phone. "C-chief... What's the matter?" the officer asks. "One of the victims is Chad Legard's son." Everyone around the office stops what they're doing and looks at the chief. "Men, this is a much bigger mess than we imagined. I hope none of you had plans tonight."
---
The man and Felix walk through the never-ending park together. Felix looks around in amazement, still unable to accept that what he's feeling isn't reality.
"This is all too much for me."
The mind is a complex thing, Felix. Yours, especially.
The man laughs.
"So if this is my mind and you're the voices, and I'm unconscious right now, why don't you take over my body?"
Felix, Felix. I know you have never liked us, but you must understand we are not evil. You are you, and your body is your own. We exist and can not exist anywhere but here.
"Yet you still are able to exert control if you want something done."
The man nods but says nothing.
"Whatever. This is all really messed up."
Felix, I want to show you another scene. You may find it hard to witness. Are you ready?
"You ask me like I have any choice."
The grass rapidly mutates and changes into carpet. The trees disintegrate and reform into walls. The birds give one last chirp and fly into the walls, becoming nothing but pictures. Chad, Rose, one-year-old Felix and the specialist sit inside the small room.
"Andrzej, tell us again! It can't be right! You misread the test!"
"Rose, settle down. There is no sign of the voices...at all. I wasn't able to test Chad when he was at this age, but I'm certain I would see some sign. Anything."
"Dear, he's right. There's still the chance that they won't show up until he's at an older age. We knew this was a possibility."
Chad places his hand on his wife's. She blinks back her watery eyes and smiles.
"Take Felix out to the car. I need to talk with Andrzej for a moment. I'll be right behind you."
He kisses Rose, picks up young Felix and vanishes through the door. Once she's alone with the specialist, she takes an envelope from her purse and throws it on the desk.
"It's all there. In cash. And you're certain he possesses the voices?"
"Heh. You know I don't make mistakes."
The doctor takes out a bottle of wine and pours two glasses. Rose raises her glass and they toast.
"To the future, doctor."
The wine turns into a black liquid and melts away their insides. Their bodies corrode and everything returns to the blackness. Felix stares at the emptiness, speechless.
Understand and grow stronger.
"From the very beginning... She's always known! She's always only cared about her own desires..."
Yes, Felix.
"And my father... He really doesn't know?"
For a long time, your father believed you didn't inherit the voices. Working with Rose, the specialist kept all the real results a secret from Chad. Her plans didn't have room for him.
"You said 'for a long time.' When did Dad find out?"
He had his suspicions. If you remember from what you've seen of his diary, you helped advance his project past a crucial phase.
"What did he do to me?"
Ran a few tests of his own, so to speak. The details are not important yet, Felix.
"No, I want to know now! Tell me!"
This time, Felix feels like he is rapidly flying through the air. The man remains calm beside him. The feeling disappears, and they're standing in a laboratory with Andrzej and Rose.
"This test proves it's possible to synthetically replicate the voices?"
"I believe so, yes. Your continued 'donations' over the years have greatly helped my research. However, Chad has become more persistent lately. I'm afraid he suspects I know more than I've been telling him."
"Don't worry about him. He's a fool. Just make sure he sees and hears of nothing you've been doing. No matter what he suspects, he'll believe the 'facts' you put before his eyes."
The blackness hungrily devours everything, leaving only their wicked smiles. Until even they bubble away into nothing.
"But...this doesn't make any sense. Dad is the one who was working on a project! He's the one who was trying to do something with the voices!"
Oh, you are quite right. But that isn't how it was originally. It was your mother's scheming that led Chad to start his own work.
"He found out what she was doing?"
I'm glad you're following along, Felix. That is indeed what happened. Rose became more and more consumed by her secret plans. And when Chad found out, he felt greatly betrayed. He didn't confront her about it, however. Instead, he started his own work, and your parents grew even more distant.
"As if they were ever really together..."
Chad loves Rose, and he always will. Do not misunderstand. It is Rose that drove him to do the things he has done.
"You almost sound like you're defending my father."
The man takes his eyes off Felix and turns around.
Hm, we wonder.
...
[x] The first time Chad and Rose take Felix to the specialist.
"I don't see how I can't dwell on something like that."
Come, let's go for a walk, Felix.
"A walk...? Where is there to walk in complete blackness?"
There is only nothing because neither of us wish it to be any different.
"You're telling me if I wanted to be in a park, I could change all of this into a park?"
The man smiles. Thousands and thousands of blades of grass sprout from the blackness. Trees materialize from the void. Birds pop out of nothing and flutter through the sky. The Gledenberg Park flows and is recreated in an instant.
It's hard to understand why this surprises you. Are you not accustomed to dreaming? Imagining? This realm, your subconscious, is free for either of us to manipulate at will.
"But I feel like myself. I really feel like I'm standing in our park now."
We wish that was the case, Felix. Unfortunately, it is not. Your body is suffering like it never has before.
---
The ambulance punches through the storm as fast as safely possible. Two men stand over the stretcher in the back, looking at Felix. They fight to stop the bleeding and keep him alive, confused by his current state. Neither can figure out why he passed out so quickly, causing a great sense of urgency.
"Damn, I really messed this up," Chad says, stopping his car along the road. He rubs his head and tries to think of a new plan. He knows he can't let Lizor escape now, or he may never find him. "What use could I possibly still have to that bastard, though..." The storm beats down on his car and obscures his view through the windows. He looks for any sign of another car. No one else is foolish enough to be out in the storm. "I'm sure he snapped at them and has them rushing to finish getting ready. He wouldn't waste his men chasing after me." Chad slams on the steering wheel in frustration. "Dammit. I'm going to have to get my hands dirty."
"Move, move! Get everything ready in that crate! We need this sent by tonight!" Lizor tries to stop his nosebleed while barking orders. "Sir, I understand the urgency, but... In this storm..." the manager says. Lizor slaps him. "Nothing else matters! We ship, TONIGHT!" The men frantically load the crates to meet his demand.
"Chief! I just got word from the Lixmilo Police Department. There's been a shooting in a small apartment complex," he pauses, "and you're not going to believe who they say is the shooter." The Trissany police chief marches over to the officer. "I'm not in the mood for guessing, dammit!" The officer bumbles at the chief's explosive tone and nearly drops his phone. "Kurst! Selest Kurst! Oscar's daughter," he says. The chief rips the phone out of his hand. "This is the chief. You damn well better not be mistaken about this." The officer on the other end assures him they are positive. "Who was shot? What the hell was she doing?" The chief's eyes go blank, and he drops the phone. "C-chief... What's the matter?" the officer asks. "One of the victims is Chad Legard's son." Everyone around the office stops what they're doing and looks at the chief. "Men, this is a much bigger mess than we imagined. I hope none of you had plans tonight."
---
The man and Felix walk through the never-ending park together. Felix looks around in amazement, still unable to accept that what he's feeling isn't reality.
"This is all too much for me."
The mind is a complex thing, Felix. Yours, especially.
The man laughs.
"So if this is my mind and you're the voices, and I'm unconscious right now, why don't you take over my body?"
Felix, Felix. I know you have never liked us, but you must understand we are not evil. You are you, and your body is your own. We exist and can not exist anywhere but here.
"Yet you still are able to exert control if you want something done."
The man nods but says nothing.
"Whatever. This is all really messed up."
Felix, I want to show you another scene. You may find it hard to witness. Are you ready?
"You ask me like I have any choice."
The grass rapidly mutates and changes into carpet. The trees disintegrate and reform into walls. The birds give one last chirp and fly into the walls, becoming nothing but pictures. Chad, Rose, one-year-old Felix and the specialist sit inside the small room.
"Andrzej, tell us again! It can't be right! You misread the test!"
"Rose, settle down. There is no sign of the voices...at all. I wasn't able to test Chad when he was at this age, but I'm certain I would see some sign. Anything."
"Dear, he's right. There's still the chance that they won't show up until he's at an older age. We knew this was a possibility."
Chad places his hand on his wife's. She blinks back her watery eyes and smiles.
"Take Felix out to the car. I need to talk with Andrzej for a moment. I'll be right behind you."
He kisses Rose, picks up young Felix and vanishes through the door. Once she's alone with the specialist, she takes an envelope from her purse and throws it on the desk.
"It's all there. In cash. And you're certain he possesses the voices?"
"Heh. You know I don't make mistakes."
The doctor takes out a bottle of wine and pours two glasses. Rose raises her glass and they toast.
"To the future, doctor."
The wine turns into a black liquid and melts away their insides. Their bodies corrode and everything returns to the blackness. Felix stares at the emptiness, speechless.
Understand and grow stronger.
"From the very beginning... She's always known! She's always only cared about her own desires..."
Yes, Felix.
"And my father... He really doesn't know?"
For a long time, your father believed you didn't inherit the voices. Working with Rose, the specialist kept all the real results a secret from Chad. Her plans didn't have room for him.
"You said 'for a long time.' When did Dad find out?"
He had his suspicions. If you remember from what you've seen of his diary, you helped advance his project past a crucial phase.
"What did he do to me?"
Ran a few tests of his own, so to speak. The details are not important yet, Felix.
"No, I want to know now! Tell me!"
This time, Felix feels like he is rapidly flying through the air. The man remains calm beside him. The feeling disappears, and they're standing in a laboratory with Andrzej and Rose.
"This test proves it's possible to synthetically replicate the voices?"
"I believe so, yes. Your continued 'donations' over the years have greatly helped my research. However, Chad has become more persistent lately. I'm afraid he suspects I know more than I've been telling him."
"Don't worry about him. He's a fool. Just make sure he sees and hears of nothing you've been doing. No matter what he suspects, he'll believe the 'facts' you put before his eyes."
The blackness hungrily devours everything, leaving only their wicked smiles. Until even they bubble away into nothing.
"But...this doesn't make any sense. Dad is the one who was working on a project! He's the one who was trying to do something with the voices!"
Oh, you are quite right. But that isn't how it was originally. It was your mother's scheming that led Chad to start his own work.
"He found out what she was doing?"
I'm glad you're following along, Felix. That is indeed what happened. Rose became more and more consumed by her secret plans. And when Chad found out, he felt greatly betrayed. He didn't confront her about it, however. Instead, he started his own work, and your parents grew even more distant.
"As if they were ever really together..."
Chad loves Rose, and he always will. Do not misunderstand. It is Rose that drove him to do the things he has done.
"You almost sound like you're defending my father."
The man takes his eyes off Felix and turns around.
Hm, we wonder.
...
Spoiler