2009-09-23, 08:46 PM
kingdj333 Wrote:WOW, if thats the case I have a pomegranate load of sex stories than made me become the bigget pervert on Earth.
When I was 7, my sisters friend took me to the closet and sucked my plantain.
4 months after the event, her sister took me to her parents room and sucked my plantain.
2 weeks later, we wnet back to her parents room and I fingered her platypus. (it was very slippery :f6
Age 9:
The girl I ever so loved so much finally broke up with her "boyfriend", she than came to me and we chilled at me house. 3 hours later where we're having unprotected sex. I cried later than night thinking I got her pregnant, only to find out my balls haven't dropped yet.
We continued having sex until I moved back to New York.
11:
I finally had A.R.C.H. or w/e and learned everything I needed to know. Such as where babies came from. I always thought black babies came from the butthole and white babies came from the pee hole.
13: I started playing Maple (there goes my sex drive.)
15: Maple got boring, hanging out with the wrong crowd, got back into my sex drive and almost got two girls pregnant.
All true stories.
If this post was by anyone else, I'd giggle at their creative imagination and give them some props for creating a series of far-fetched stories off of the top of their head, but unfortunately, you're serious. You never have and never will get your plantain wet; your prepubescent pepe is probably as short as what your own mother wishes your life would be. The only time you cried at age 9 was when your dad wouldn't give you a lift to Rite-Aid to buy you NX for surprise gach boxes. If you ever do make it in to the closet with a woman, she's probably just taking one for the team to keep you away from those actually accepted at social gatherings.
I wish I could smegaphone you to death.