2009-09-22, 06:04 PM
Goddammit.
We've been together six years now (engaged for four years... FOUR YEARS! That's longer than some people stay married...) and currently in a long-distance-ish relationship. He lives two hours away, we both work, I'm doing school, so I only get to see him one or two days a week. It's been this way for about five years.
I don't know. I am trying to be as supportive as I can, but I only know one person who's ever been in the military, and that's my friend who just finished his five years or whatever with the Navy, and he hated it. I don't have any aunts or uncles or cousins who have been in the military, so I don't really know what to expect. I cried when he told me he was going to join. All I could think about is how long I've already been waiting for us to finally be together. To get married. To live together and make babies and have a family. God I just want to have a non-fucked up family.
Even though we both work, he is barely making enough to make ends meet, and at this point in time he can't afford to continue going to school. I even help pay some of his bills, but it still isn't enough. When he told me about all the benefits of being in the Air Force, I couldn't really argue. It is a logical decision. School, money, career training, a reason to get married ASAP... and all it'll cost is for him to sign his life away for a few years. Oh right, and the possibility of him getting seriously injured/dying. His entire family is happy and proud of him. He's got a lot of family who served in the military, so they obviously have a different perspective than I do.
I can't help feeling selfish and wanting him to stay. My entire week is spent looking forward to seeing him again. When I clock out on Saturday afternoon, all the shit I had to put up with that day, that week... it doesn't matter because I will see him soon and everything will be gravy. God, just thinking about not being able to see him for months at a time is making my hands tremble and my eyes tear up. And not to mention I am the sort of person who gets overly worried. I know that statistically, there's a low chance of him getting seriously injured or dying (especially in the Air Force) but ugh... the possibility is still there. And what if something horrible happens in the next four years?
Not posted in the Angry Dome because I'm not really... angry. I'm more sad and worried than anything. I've been trying not to think about it and shutting it into a small, dark corner in the back of my mind.
Tell me everything will be okay.
We've been together six years now (engaged for four years... FOUR YEARS! That's longer than some people stay married...) and currently in a long-distance-ish relationship. He lives two hours away, we both work, I'm doing school, so I only get to see him one or two days a week. It's been this way for about five years.
I don't know. I am trying to be as supportive as I can, but I only know one person who's ever been in the military, and that's my friend who just finished his five years or whatever with the Navy, and he hated it. I don't have any aunts or uncles or cousins who have been in the military, so I don't really know what to expect. I cried when he told me he was going to join. All I could think about is how long I've already been waiting for us to finally be together. To get married. To live together and make babies and have a family. God I just want to have a non-fucked up family.
Even though we both work, he is barely making enough to make ends meet, and at this point in time he can't afford to continue going to school. I even help pay some of his bills, but it still isn't enough. When he told me about all the benefits of being in the Air Force, I couldn't really argue. It is a logical decision. School, money, career training, a reason to get married ASAP... and all it'll cost is for him to sign his life away for a few years. Oh right, and the possibility of him getting seriously injured/dying. His entire family is happy and proud of him. He's got a lot of family who served in the military, so they obviously have a different perspective than I do.
I can't help feeling selfish and wanting him to stay. My entire week is spent looking forward to seeing him again. When I clock out on Saturday afternoon, all the shit I had to put up with that day, that week... it doesn't matter because I will see him soon and everything will be gravy. God, just thinking about not being able to see him for months at a time is making my hands tremble and my eyes tear up. And not to mention I am the sort of person who gets overly worried. I know that statistically, there's a low chance of him getting seriously injured or dying (especially in the Air Force) but ugh... the possibility is still there. And what if something horrible happens in the next four years?
Not posted in the Angry Dome because I'm not really... angry. I'm more sad and worried than anything. I've been trying not to think about it and shutting it into a small, dark corner in the back of my mind.
Tell me everything will be okay.