Attempt Seriousness

*stands up*

Hello, my name is Kayne West.....And I am an alcoholic.

I have been drinking since I was 13 years old, and I cannot stand the sound of my own music unless I am drunk out of my mind. I also feel I am a latent homosexual.

Any suggestions?

Hold an exchange program, putting Kayne West within the walls of the Michigan Militia compound, while one of their rednecks is put into the Detroit inner city with orders to shoot his way out. Two losers down, three billion to go.