Signs That Your Appliances Are Actually Bears

If food goes into your food processor but does not come back out the way it came in, it may be a bear.

If your computer won't turn on until spring, it may be a bear.

If your toaster suddenly starts mauling your face, it may be a bear.

If your outlet roars at you every time you try to plug something into it, it may be a bear.

If it doesn't, it may be a gay bear.

If your refrigerator ends up at the river every spawning season, it may be a bear.