Funhouse, I've got some bad news

I just watched Twilight for the first time. I know, I know, it was a stupid thing for me to do. The worst part of all of this experience was that I didn't think it was all that terrible really. I went into watching it with my expectations being very, very low; oh, and no, I didn't read the book beforehand. There's something about all the little awkward conversations that made me like it a little bit, but I couldn't stand how nice the school was acting to the main character girl all the time, it felt so goddamn fake. The baseball scene (Vampires+Baseball=????..lolwut?) and the ending fight scene actually made me laugh a tiny bit.

So how do I fix this problem, Funhouse? I'm thinking suicide is the best option right now.