2009-09-04, 10:56 PM
[color="#cc8899"]I don't claim to be better than the wolves, or smarter than the sheep. I have moments where I absolutely hate myself, and generally do not have a positive image of myself. I try to be a good person, but I have moments (as a lot of you may have seen) where I break down and do things that are just completely inexcusable. I fight constantly against part of myself that looks for ways to manipulate people into doing what I want.
I fall for some of the dumbest tricks as well, particularly where women are involved. I let myself believe that I'm not being taken advantage of, that the people I date are honest with me and actually care. In 3 major relationships, 1 cared, but too torn between myself and her stepbrother (they had dated BEFORE parents married and simply continued afterwards) to really put effort into the relationship.
I'm just as depressed with myself as with other people. I never said "Everyone else sucks and I'm the only nice guy." I hate myself just as much. The rare moments where I do meet geniuinely good people, I tend to hurt them or push them away.[/COLOR]
I fall for some of the dumbest tricks as well, particularly where women are involved. I let myself believe that I'm not being taken advantage of, that the people I date are honest with me and actually care. In 3 major relationships, 1 cared, but too torn between myself and her stepbrother (they had dated BEFORE parents married and simply continued afterwards) to really put effort into the relationship.
I'm just as depressed with myself as with other people. I never said "Everyone else sucks and I'm the only nice guy." I hate myself just as much. The rare moments where I do meet geniuinely good people, I tend to hurt them or push them away.[/COLOR]