How illegal would this be?

I think that would account for a vandalism charge...meaning a year in jail or a hell of a lot of community service.

A year in jail for vandalism? What the pineapple?

Ontopic... Do it.

1. Put it in a sandbox or ballpit
   
2. Get a friend to go camping without telling anyone a week before hand
   
3. Report him as missing
   
4. Let all hell break loose
   
5. ????
   
6. Profit.