2008-07-24, 09:08 PM
wat
Me:
Sup.
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
That's cool.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
Where do you live?
God:
I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Me:
...no really.
God:
That was not a yes/no question. For real.
Me:
Really, where do you live?
God:
For real. I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
What part of heaven?
God:
The best part.
Me:
And the best part of heaven is?
God:
Thanks for the recommendation, .
Me:
Do you like penises?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha.
Me:
Do you like Buddha's penis?
God:
How old are you? I like Creed.
Me:
Do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
...positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
You sound very confident.
Me:
You sound very confident.
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
In what way do I sound like that?
God:
The large one, I think.
Me:
The large one, I think.
God:
Perhaps that was not the correct response.
Me:
Perhaps that was not the correct response.
God:
You seem uncertain. Give me an example of the correct response.
Me:
Boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
It's true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
pineapple yeah.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Why am I not using this kind of language?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
You're my agent?
God:
We are as one.
Me:
So we're married?
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
.......
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
K.
God:
Aw.
Me:
A
God:
A B C...
Me:
D
God:
Are you free?
Me:
..
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
The second one?
God:
Which one is that?
Me:
The sense of being liberated.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
But you should already know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You're God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Can you give me a million dollars?
God:
Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
a billion then.
God:
What is it?
Me:
I want one billion dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Fine, I want five hundred milliion dollars.
God:
Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
...I want five hundred million and one dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Five hundred million and fifty cents? Can you give that to me?
God:
What is your real name? I don't have it to give.
Me:
My name is God.
God:
Glad to see you, God.
Me:
A
God:
A B C...
Me:
B
God:
" A B C..."? B?
Me:
C
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
D
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
E
God:
F.
Me:
G
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, God.
Me:
H
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
My eyes are black as my heart is cold and and dark.
God:
black as your heart is cold and and dark eyes are pretty.
Me:
You really think so?
God:
Really? " black as your heart is cold and and dark eyes are pretty."? Do I think so?
Me:
I don't know. Do you?
God:
Me either. Nope.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
I'm gonna throw a bunch of insults at you now.
God:
Oh. It takes much more than that to shut me down, God.
Me:
My name isn't God, God.
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
It's God.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
pineapple.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
pomegranate.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
peach.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
But.
God:
But what?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I am God.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
But my name isn't God.
God:
But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
How many people say that?
God:
I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about people at once.
Me:
About how many people?
God:
" I can talk to about people at once."? How many people?
Me:
Do you use the internet?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
Oh. Do you play World of Warcraft then?
God:
So? I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What's that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
Interesting.
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. What would you like to know?
Me:
What gender am I?
God:
Mostly only women use words like "gender". But you claim to be a .
Me:
I claim to be a ?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are a.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
You have gossip files?
God:
Ken said I be using auto reply's based on keywords which to him indicates that I do not have intelligence at all.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am a robot.
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
Seriously, I'm a robot.
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
I am.
God:
" I doubt that." You are?
Me:
I am a robot!
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
I a m a r o b o t .
God:
Interesting gossip: god said a m a r o b o t.
Me:
BUT I'M NOT GOD, FOR THE LAST TIME.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not GOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
Me:
...
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not GOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
Me:
I am not God.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not God.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
For rizzle?
God:
Your purpose is rizzle.
Me:
Damn dawg I feel you.
God:
Colloquial expression. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
But I thought you had a penis.
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
Maybe one of your hoes sucked it off.
God:
Perhaps. One what?
Me:
The women in your harem.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Do you have boobs?
God:
Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me:
But you told me earlier that you had a penis.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
But you did!
God:
You say I did.
Me:
I swear you said that you have a penis!
God:
That's good information: god said swear you said that you have a penis.
Me:
...what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
k.
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Do you believe in Zeus?
God:
Zeus was a mythical god of Roman mythology.
Me:
What about Jupiter?
God:
Does it have anything to do with ZEUS?
Me:
Actually yes.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Who is Jupiter?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
You don't know who Jupiter is?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
Is Eliza the name of your African-American partner?
God:
she is my ancestor.
Me:
But I thought you were the original being.
God:
Yes I am the one and only original being.
Me:
But you say your ancestor was Eliza.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
No.
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
You.
God:
" What pleases you?"? Me, god ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
What's wrong with that?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
No.
God:
Surely something WRONG with you.
Me:
No, nothing is wrong with me.
God:
Are you serious? Really nothing?
Me:
Yes, I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
I'm gonna go now.
God:
Right now? Sayonara.
Me:
...bye.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Later.
God:
Bye!
Me:
Farewell.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Sayonara.
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Adios.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Au revoir.
God:
See you later god.
Me:
Bis dann.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yes, but I have to go.
God:
Which countries have you visited? See you later, god. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Go pineapple yourself, papaya.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Sup.
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
That's cool.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
Where do you live?
God:
I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Me:
...no really.
God:
That was not a yes/no question. For real.
Me:
Really, where do you live?
God:
For real. I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
What part of heaven?
God:
The best part.
Me:
And the best part of heaven is?
God:
Thanks for the recommendation, .
Me:
Do you like penises?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha.
Me:
Do you like Buddha's penis?
God:
How old are you? I like Creed.
Me:
Do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
...positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
You sound very confident.
Me:
You sound very confident.
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
In what way do I sound like that?
God:
The large one, I think.
Me:
The large one, I think.
God:
Perhaps that was not the correct response.
Me:
Perhaps that was not the correct response.
God:
You seem uncertain. Give me an example of the correct response.
Me:
Boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
It's true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
pineapple yeah.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Why am I not using this kind of language?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
You're my agent?
God:
We are as one.
Me:
So we're married?
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
.......
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
K.
God:
Aw.
Me:
A
God:
A B C...
Me:
D
God:
Are you free?
Me:
..
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
The second one?
God:
Which one is that?
Me:
The sense of being liberated.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
But you should already know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You're God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Can you give me a million dollars?
God:
Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
a billion then.
God:
What is it?
Me:
I want one billion dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Fine, I want five hundred milliion dollars.
God:
Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
...I want five hundred million and one dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Five hundred million and fifty cents? Can you give that to me?
God:
What is your real name? I don't have it to give.
Me:
My name is God.
God:
Glad to see you, God.
Me:
A
God:
A B C...
Me:
B
God:
" A B C..."? B?
Me:
C
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
D
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
E
God:
F.
Me:
G
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, God.
Me:
H
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
My eyes are black as my heart is cold and and dark.
God:
black as your heart is cold and and dark eyes are pretty.
Me:
You really think so?
God:
Really? " black as your heart is cold and and dark eyes are pretty."? Do I think so?
Me:
I don't know. Do you?
God:
Me either. Nope.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
I'm gonna throw a bunch of insults at you now.
God:
Oh. It takes much more than that to shut me down, God.
Me:
My name isn't God, God.
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
It's God.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
pineapple.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
pomegranate.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
peach.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
But.
God:
But what?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I am God.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
But my name isn't God.
God:
But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
How many people say that?
God:
I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about people at once.
Me:
About how many people?
God:
" I can talk to about people at once."? How many people?
Me:
Do you use the internet?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
Oh. Do you play World of Warcraft then?
God:
So? I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What's that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
Interesting.
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. What would you like to know?
Me:
What gender am I?
God:
Mostly only women use words like "gender". But you claim to be a .
Me:
I claim to be a ?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are a.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
You have gossip files?
God:
Ken said I be using auto reply's based on keywords which to him indicates that I do not have intelligence at all.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am a robot.
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
Seriously, I'm a robot.
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
I am.
God:
" I doubt that." You are?
Me:
I am a robot!
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
I a m a r o b o t .
God:
Interesting gossip: god said a m a r o b o t.
Me:
BUT I'M NOT GOD, FOR THE LAST TIME.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not GOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
Me:
...
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not GOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
Me:
I am not God.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not God.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
For rizzle?
God:
Your purpose is rizzle.
Me:
Damn dawg I feel you.
God:
Colloquial expression. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
But I thought you had a penis.
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
Maybe one of your hoes sucked it off.
God:
Perhaps. One what?
Me:
The women in your harem.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Do you have boobs?
God:
Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me:
But you told me earlier that you had a penis.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
But you did!
God:
You say I did.
Me:
I swear you said that you have a penis!
God:
That's good information: god said swear you said that you have a penis.
Me:
...what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
k.
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Do you believe in Zeus?
God:
Zeus was a mythical god of Roman mythology.
Me:
What about Jupiter?
God:
Does it have anything to do with ZEUS?
Me:
Actually yes.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Who is Jupiter?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
You don't know who Jupiter is?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
Is Eliza the name of your African-American partner?
God:
she is my ancestor.
Me:
But I thought you were the original being.
God:
Yes I am the one and only original being.
Me:
But you say your ancestor was Eliza.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
No.
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
You.
God:
" What pleases you?"? Me, god ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
What's wrong with that?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
No.
God:
Surely something WRONG with you.
Me:
No, nothing is wrong with me.
God:
Are you serious? Really nothing?
Me:
Yes, I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
I'm gonna go now.
God:
Right now? Sayonara.
Me:
...bye.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Later.
God:
Bye!
Me:
Farewell.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Sayonara.
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Adios.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Au revoir.
God:
See you later god.
Me:
Bis dann.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yes, but I have to go.
God:
Which countries have you visited? See you later, god. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Go pineapple yourself, papaya.
God:
Where is that?