How to drink a bottle of vodka in 20 seconds.

Even "key word controlled" I'm still skeptical of your claims above lol. If that were, that would be really interesting. I just did some searching myself and haven't found anything to support improved kidney function with alcohol. And yes your theory works for say, an allergy treatment, but it's not quite that generalizable.

Hey, stop that. I'm gonna be immune against gamma rays and thus survive nuclear wars.