The adventures of Bob

Bob should spend countless days and weeks teaching the stapler how to shudder even though it will probably end in an epik faillor.

Bob contemplates unimaginable horrors with which to instill shudder-inspiring fear in the stapler, but, being unimaginable, he comes up with nothing. Instead, he simply kicks it. In retaliation, it leaves a small bruise on Bob's toe. Next time, make sure you're wearing shoes when you kick a piece of angry and humiliated red steel.