The adventures of Bob

Throw the pants at Tom.

Bob hurls his soggy pants at Tom, and the thoroughly distressed stapler falls from the pocket in a state of dazed confusion. Bob recalls his freshman days in high school, and a particularly cruel paddle...
Tom's phone is shorted out by the damp cloth, and his call disconnected. Bob decides to use the bent staple to make a turban for Tom out of the soggy pants. Tom looks quite stylish. The stapler lays miserably on the floor with a few drops of urine nearby. It would shudder in the manner of a beaten dog, but staplers can't shudder. Duh.