Smart moment of the day

One day over 9000 years ago I was lying downstairs on my couch in that blissful state between sleep and wakefulness. The room had been invaded by flies and the little pineappleers were flying in circles around my head. There must have been 12-14 of them. At midnight I awoke and swore undying vengeance.

I picked up my mighty slipper, opened the door to the washroom, and lured them in. As soon as they flew in I shut the door to the bathroom and waited for them to land, slamming them with my slipper as they did so. One by one they flew in and did not fly out. By three A.M., the fly scourge had been exterminated, I declared victory and passed out.

Do NOT fly circles around my head at midnight, pineappleers. I will nail you with my slipper, I swear to God.

This man is now my hero! I've actually done the same thing before.