Lemme fix your iPod!!! 5 dolla.

If you're ever wondering why your battery isn't working right, don't take it to the Apple store!

I'll fix it for 5 dolla.

If it's brand new (screen isn't busted and your middle button is working just peachy)

I'll fix that.

End product?

 Spoiler

I'll even throw in the tape for free. And hey, if you ever decide you don't like the tape:

 Spoiler

Things you never knew existed inside your iPod will pop out at you like confetti!

So what do you say?
5 dolla.
I'll even lose the middle button for you.