I'll answer everything.

Poop.

Yeah :p

How do I tell if im sick with the swine flu without going to a doctor to take a bl00d test?

Do the "bl00d" test yourself.

What evil tactic did you devise before you infiltrated Nexon HQ using goggles?

Is it possible to replicate it?

What, the pineapple?

-It wasn't evil at all, I just wore them, and they seemed to work!
-Don't think so.
-Yeah, what?

After a couple of meetings, discussions, displays of power and a rather peculiar incident involving my grandmother, a chainsaw and a teddy bear, the fraggle colony under my bed has sworn me their eternal loyalty and service.

What would be the optimal way of testing the loyalty and service of these newfound subjects? Preferably without crippling their future usefullness.

 not a question

Titanium and aluminium. That's just awesome

In regards to your fraggle colony, I hope your granma is alright, considering the part with the teddy bear, and about their loyalty: Be a good leader: Earn their respect, not their fear. Therefore, don't test their loyalty to gain their respect. If you do that, they'll be your best followers. It's up to you to bring their nation to the top! But don't use wars. They hate them.

Ah, for future reference: If they wet their hands and they are guilty, they will turn red. It's quite a good thing for any problem with suspects.