Explosions are nice when you're drunk

Some people hate history. I have no clue why.

One fine night in Chicago, a cow farted. This fart-heard-around-the-world got to a lantern, which set the barn on fire, which set all of Chicago on fire, and which caused the whole city to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Them cows, they're DANGEROUS I tell you. You give me 1-ton howitzer shells or nuclear bombs, and *I* give you the cow fart that torched Chicago.

Then the cow got struck by lightning, and he exploded from excess methane.