2009-03-26, 07:04 PM
Alloy Wrote:Benjamin Edward "Ben" Stiller (born November 30, 1965) is an Emmy Award-winning American comedian, actor, film director, and producer. He is the son of veteran comedians and actors Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara.[1]I am writing to express my concerns about Ben Stiller and, more specifically, his goals regarding oligophrenic clowns. Let me begin by citing a range of examples from the public sphere. For starters, Ben's claim that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish is factually unsupported and politically motivated.
Need I point out that things are apt to get worse before they get better? Ben's diatribes should be labeled like a pack of cigarettes. I'm thinking of something along the lines of, "Warning: It has been determined that Ben's remonstrations are intended to make mountains out of molehills." If we are to shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the obtrusive and execrable ideologies that Ben promotes. I can't follow his pretzel logic. I do, however, know that Ben labels anyone he doesn't like as "closed-minded". That might well be a better description of him.
We must prevent the Ben-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that my cause is to redefine in practical terms the immutable ideals that have guided us from the beginning. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Ben distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions.
Ben's standard operating procedure is to blame our societal problems on handy scapegoats. But I digress. The reason he wants to condition the public to accept violence as normal and desirable is that he's absolutely inaniloquent. If you believe you have another explanation for his nit-picky behavior, then please write and tell me about it. Just as when something flies in the direction of your eyes, your eyelids close instantly and of their own accord, so too does Ben instinctively and automatically marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits. That fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. At one point, I actually believed that he would stop being so lazy. Silly me.
I am sick of our illustrious "leaders" treading on eggshells so as not to upset Ben. Here's what I have to say to them: Ben argues that I am hostile for wanting to take away as many of his opportunities for mischief as possible. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago. He uses the very intellectual tools he criticizes, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. In summary, Ben Stiller's hangers-on are the worst that humanity has to offer. Is anyone listening? Does anyone care?