A Thread Against Girls

1. Of course girls insist on spraying themselves. Some smell like tuna and feel the need to smell like tuna found on a tropical island.
2. If a girl is already clumsy and wear high heels anyway, she deserves to fall all over herself due to stupidity.
3. *Some girls. Others hate shopping period.
4. Some girls don't PMS at all. Birth control (like Depo) can pineapple with your hormons and make it so you don't have periods at all. So if a girl's on depo, and is still being a peach.. well then she's just a peach. No PMS involved.

1. Girls think we are incapable of just being friends. I have known certain girls for so long that the thought of being in a relationship with them hasn't even crossed my mind. Still they act as if I, and every other guy, just wants to get into their pants. Just cause guys are stereotyped as pigs doesn't mean we all are.
   
   
2. Girls piss me off when they eat. Just put the food up to your mouth and bite into it. Quit eating everything by breaking off small, dainty pieces with your fingers. That is even more gross. Hands always touch disgusting things.
   
   
3. Quit calling me! Dammit, I hate the phone. I want to talk face to face, not over a phone line. I get bored and can't talk about anything. Atleast I can go on with my normal life (lol the computer) if I am texting.
   
   
4. Quit letting your things ride up. I don't like thinking that the girl I like/hang out with is a total skank.
   
   
5. Lose the long nails. Long nails suck dammit. They look freaky to me. Nothing wrong with clean cut, painted SHORT nails.
   
   
6. Quit wearing Uggs. They look bad, especially since whenever it rains all the girls break out their Uggs. Let me tell you, they look even more horrible when wet. Normal shoes are ok.
   
   I could think of more, but w/e.
   

1. Men ruined that for you (like you said, stereotype). Don't blame us.
2. If a girl feels the need to pick her food piece by piece, she's obviously insecure around you.
3. Guys have more of a tendency to call me than I do them. Depends on the people? I hate the phone.
4. Unless they look like this:

Or she happens to accidentally scratch your plantain during a handjob, who the pineapple cares how long they are.
5. Ewwww Uggs. Have to agree with you there.

If you really like the girl, and possibly love em, why does the guy have to be the one to say I love you first..? And then when we do say it first, you just say "Me too" or "Love ya too".

Hey now, that works both ways. One time, I told my boyfriend of 2 years I loved him (not the first time saying it, but still) and my response?:
You too. Can I have my car keys?

When girls get mad you leave the toilet seat up. Guess what, it's not that hard to put down the seat. And if you want it down because you don't look before you sit, MAYBE YOU SHOULD F**KING LOOK

The fu-
I cannot stand it when the toilet seat is up. IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE UP! If it was meant to be up, we wouldn't have the damn seat to begin with. It's not hard to put the damn thing down. When I have to poo, the last thing I'm thinking is "Oh I hope he put the toilet seat down." No. I'm thinking "I need to take a pomegranate, get out of my way" and I don't want my little ass be falling into the toilet.