2015-03-02, 01:31 PM
Started the third week of the skills training course I was forced onto by the jobcentre, today was very interesting though.
Today, due to one of the tutors being away, and the weather meaning that people couldn't get there by minibus, 2 of the classes going on at the the same time were merged into one.
There were only 4 of us there at first (we are always the first to arrive) so I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and I come back to find a bunch of new faces I've never seen before, including probably one of the most handsome guys I have ever seen. I was absolutely transfixed on him from the moment I saw him (in a socially acceptable peeking glances at him sometimes sort of way, not a creepy way)
Eventually we had to move into another room to do some computer work, we were split into different groups and he was in a different group. We had to think of a company, and make a powerpoint presentation on it. My group chose Microsoft (and I did all the computer work, and it ended up being the best presentation), that guy did Square-Enix which I sneaked a glance at while they were on break.
When they came back from break I actually managed to talk to him about it a little, I told them that I had a Final Fantasy tattoo on my arm, and he was talking about getting some too.
He delivered his presentation and I spoke up and started talking to him about Square-enix games, turns out he's a massive fan and a total nerd, already i'm acting different than I normally do since I don't usually speak up like that.
After that he seemed to be sort of glancing at me every now and then, which was nice. But we didn't really talk after that. He especially glanced at me whenever something sexual came up in conversation, which was.. weird.
So at this point I was crushing pretty hard in a short amount of time at this incredibly handsome, nerdy guy who seemed fun to talk to, when all of a sudden he says to the other guys "So what are the females like in your class?" in a leering wink, wink, nudge, nudge sort of way.
Anddddd there it is. The single worst thing about being attracted to guys: When they turn out to be straight.
I'm sure people on the other side of the world heard my sigh of frustration at that point.
It's not all bad though, at the end of the class he sort of just... hung around, until I was about to walk out, then he went out too, so I plucked up the courage (totally unlike me!) to ask him what his favourite Final Fantasy was, and his response was the wonderful "Final Fantasy 8", which is my favourite too, and I said as much, and we talked about how overrated Final Fantasy 7 is
We didn't talk for very long because we had to go separate ways but it was.. nice! He could still be bi/gay but yeahhhh, probably not. Either way I might not see him again, so i'm not gonna make a big deal out of it.
I'm really proud of myself right now. I'm finally opening up, i'm talking to people in my class way more openly, I asked a guy out on a date yesterday (he said yes by the way!), I managed to speak to this guy today, and I finally started wearing contact lenses today! I'm also looking after the house while my parents are away for 2 weeks, so I feel pretty independent right now.
I also applied to volunteer at an LGBT homeless charity a couple of weeks back and i'm currently waiting for a reply, if I don't get a reply back by the end of the week, i'm going to apply for a different LGBT related charity and see what happens. But I don't think I've ever been this motivated to do something, I really want to do this.
Long winded post I know but.. damn, things are just so crazy right now.
Today, due to one of the tutors being away, and the weather meaning that people couldn't get there by minibus, 2 of the classes going on at the the same time were merged into one.
There were only 4 of us there at first (we are always the first to arrive) so I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, and I come back to find a bunch of new faces I've never seen before, including probably one of the most handsome guys I have ever seen. I was absolutely transfixed on him from the moment I saw him (in a socially acceptable peeking glances at him sometimes sort of way, not a creepy way)
Eventually we had to move into another room to do some computer work, we were split into different groups and he was in a different group. We had to think of a company, and make a powerpoint presentation on it. My group chose Microsoft (and I did all the computer work, and it ended up being the best presentation), that guy did Square-Enix which I sneaked a glance at while they were on break.
When they came back from break I actually managed to talk to him about it a little, I told them that I had a Final Fantasy tattoo on my arm, and he was talking about getting some too.
He delivered his presentation and I spoke up and started talking to him about Square-enix games, turns out he's a massive fan and a total nerd, already i'm acting different than I normally do since I don't usually speak up like that.
After that he seemed to be sort of glancing at me every now and then, which was nice. But we didn't really talk after that. He especially glanced at me whenever something sexual came up in conversation, which was.. weird.
So at this point I was crushing pretty hard in a short amount of time at this incredibly handsome, nerdy guy who seemed fun to talk to, when all of a sudden he says to the other guys "So what are the females like in your class?" in a leering wink, wink, nudge, nudge sort of way.
Anddddd there it is. The single worst thing about being attracted to guys: When they turn out to be straight.
I'm sure people on the other side of the world heard my sigh of frustration at that point.
It's not all bad though, at the end of the class he sort of just... hung around, until I was about to walk out, then he went out too, so I plucked up the courage (totally unlike me!) to ask him what his favourite Final Fantasy was, and his response was the wonderful "Final Fantasy 8", which is my favourite too, and I said as much, and we talked about how overrated Final Fantasy 7 is
We didn't talk for very long because we had to go separate ways but it was.. nice! He could still be bi/gay but yeahhhh, probably not. Either way I might not see him again, so i'm not gonna make a big deal out of it.
I'm really proud of myself right now. I'm finally opening up, i'm talking to people in my class way more openly, I asked a guy out on a date yesterday (he said yes by the way!), I managed to speak to this guy today, and I finally started wearing contact lenses today! I'm also looking after the house while my parents are away for 2 weeks, so I feel pretty independent right now.
I also applied to volunteer at an LGBT homeless charity a couple of weeks back and i'm currently waiting for a reply, if I don't get a reply back by the end of the week, i'm going to apply for a different LGBT related charity and see what happens. But I don't think I've ever been this motivated to do something, I really want to do this.
Long winded post I know but.. damn, things are just so crazy right now.