How was your day?

I stopped taking them two years ago a year after my first depression because I don't want to be fake happy..

Emotions are ephemeral. Not characteristic. For people suffering from mental illness though it is a chronic issue so they identify their emotions as being the latter. The antideps are supposed to balance you out. The people who take the reuptake inhibitors tell me that they have no lows, but also no highs so they feel sort of neutral all the time. The antideps are truthfully there for you to cope. If your emotions are getting in the way your proficiency to succeed and your success rate of surviving then you should be taken them consistently because going off of them can trigger a depressive episode or onset of mania. With a lot of people they build tolerance after being on a certain psychiatric drug over a long period of time, which means that your body has adapted to the drug and expects regular dosages to maintain a certain state of mind. In this sense, it's important that you stay on the medication to maintain a regulatory balance and to let your physician know if you think you may need a higher potency. Then again not a psychiatrist. Don't take anything I've said as clinical advice.