Who want's to watch me eat?

I don't understand why you used punctuation at all if you're not going to cap your I's, plus I'm not sure if a dictionary would help out with that. When I end a word in an S, it's just a habit of my keystroke hitting the apostrophe. I figure people could figure this out since ya know, "want is" doesn't really exist.

He doesn't capitalise anything. And unlike capitalisation, commas and the like actually serve a purpose in expressing meaning.