2013-12-11, 11:15 PM
Throes Wrote:Had an amazing time at the Christmas party. Got drunk and partied with a bunch of my favorite people. Crushing pretty hard on said boy. Feeling kinda terrified.
After the party we went to a park, sat on the swings, and talked about life, the universe, and everything. He walked me home. I invited him upstairs for pumpkin pie and whipped cream, then we talked some more. Finally sent him home a little past 2am. Resisted every urge in my body to kiss him...
I am very mistrustful of what I feel towards this boy. Am I really into him because of him? Or am I just looking to fill the empty space in my heart? He is nerdy and creative and talented and sweet and truly a good guy. He knows I'm not at all ready for anything to happen between us and is respectful of that. I want to get to know everything about him but I do not want to ask him to put his life on hold waiting for me because who knows when I will be ready, or if what I'm feeling right now is real.
Woke up with a headache but felt absolutely glorious.
What am I doing.
Had a lot of fun at my Christmas party too. Free food + free drinks + open bar is just one of the greatest combinations ever.