2013-11-18, 10:54 PM
Post's a bit of a mess, had a little laundry to hang up.
Some section of my uh, "story" can be seen on my old account here at SP: [MENTION=3694]Beg[/MENTION];. This thread specifically is a particularly grotesque example of what this video goes on about, and there may be other examples in the Angry Dome and in other posts too. At this point, Maple was my only social life bar the family, and the only real place I didn't feel like a massive waste of space. I added modest value to this virtual world and it's virtual community, IRL I was nothing but a massive burden on everyone who knew me. Those were dark days.
Something small did change late 2012. Whether this is a false memory conjured up on my part to shield myself from the catastrophe that inevitably awaits me in a few months or not, something definitely began to feel different that year to years previous and that feeling is still there today. It certainly wasn't an overnight change, I don't recall at any point going "RIGHT, MY LIFE WILL BE BETTER STARTING NOW" (well I did but nothing came of it), but over time it's seems like the grip Maple used to have diminished somewhat since that feeling turned up. It is easier these days to just stop and do something else which is strange because even in the face of recent events I still like Maple, possibly even more so than I used to since I made the full switch to Kanna.
It could be as simple as recognising that what Maple has given me over the years really hasn't been worth what it's cost me in time and effort. It may also be because last year I received the best academic marks I'd ever received at Uni, giving me the extra hope and confidence in my own ability I needed to not want to retreat into pure escapism all the time. It could even just be that I've got more important things to do, and the fear of the consequences of not doing them outweigh my desire to reach level 210/get RA equips in the absolute most meso-efficient way or what have you. Maybe I'm just fed up of the same predictable emotional cycles of satiety and outrage Maple seems to forcefully invoke, and need a change in routine. Could be any combination of or all of these things, or something else entirely.
I don't know the details of your situation or how serious it is, but I believe with some well-placed minor choices these little things may just add up to one big favourable conclusion at some point later on. Hope that was vague enough to apply.
Some section of my uh, "story" can be seen on my old account here at SP: [MENTION=3694]Beg[/MENTION];. This thread specifically is a particularly grotesque example of what this video goes on about, and there may be other examples in the Angry Dome and in other posts too. At this point, Maple was my only social life bar the family, and the only real place I didn't feel like a massive waste of space. I added modest value to this virtual world and it's virtual community, IRL I was nothing but a massive burden on everyone who knew me. Those were dark days.
Something small did change late 2012. Whether this is a false memory conjured up on my part to shield myself from the catastrophe that inevitably awaits me in a few months or not, something definitely began to feel different that year to years previous and that feeling is still there today. It certainly wasn't an overnight change, I don't recall at any point going "RIGHT, MY LIFE WILL BE BETTER STARTING NOW" (well I did but nothing came of it), but over time it's seems like the grip Maple used to have diminished somewhat since that feeling turned up. It is easier these days to just stop and do something else which is strange because even in the face of recent events I still like Maple, possibly even more so than I used to since I made the full switch to Kanna.
It could be as simple as recognising that what Maple has given me over the years really hasn't been worth what it's cost me in time and effort. It may also be because last year I received the best academic marks I'd ever received at Uni, giving me the extra hope and confidence in my own ability I needed to not want to retreat into pure escapism all the time. It could even just be that I've got more important things to do, and the fear of the consequences of not doing them outweigh my desire to reach level 210/get RA equips in the absolute most meso-efficient way or what have you. Maybe I'm just fed up of the same predictable emotional cycles of satiety and outrage Maple seems to forcefully invoke, and need a change in routine. Could be any combination of or all of these things, or something else entirely.
I don't know the details of your situation or how serious it is, but I believe with some well-placed minor choices these little things may just add up to one big favourable conclusion at some point later on. Hope that was vague enough to apply.