2013-08-28, 10:47 AM
Five Second Pose Wrote:Your driving route stops short of Price Canyon. What "weird people" did you meet? What is a bear can? How did you not see any bears at all? How's your car holding up after this accident?
EDIT : wait no it stops in Arizona
Bah. Damn maps.
A bear can is a hard plastic container with a goofy lid to keep bears out of your food and smelly stuff. Typically used for backpacking in areas where bears have learned how to beat hanging systems and no permanent bear boxes or poles are available.
I didn't see any bears because of good/bad luck. Beats me.
Car trunk latches, but doesn't totally close. Still waterproof but not dustproof.
Weird people include Frank, who gave me the samba CD. John of Nebraska, who lovingly cursed at his kindergarten to middle school age children (Which one of y'all motherfuckers just pomegranate themselves?!?!?). James of Phoenix, who wasn't actually weird but fed me a steak in Zion. I hiked a bit with a backpacker (another John) in Yosemite who was bailing on his hike due to blisters, then drove him to where his car was. He admitted to liking Nickelback (*gasp* But mostly Soundgarden. He really liked Soundgarden). Picked up a hitchhiker for a few miles in the Redwoods, Steve. He must've been at or near 70 and was out wandering because he was sick of chemo. He had a massive 60lb pack and a chihuahua. Writing a book of course. I partied with people from a Portland brewery at Crater Lake on July 3rd. One of my Portland friend's roommates supposedly has something like 32 personalities. I only experiences two of the normal ones, but apparently she thinks she's a hyena now and then.
Met a pair of Germans at the north rim of the Grand Canyon having an intriguing conversation with a woman from South Carolina that quickly turned to religion. The German woman explained that she thought the bible has nice morals and lessons but is largely a book of law specific to an ancient time, written and rewritten by man. The SC woman made an about-face then and went from person with reasonable and understandable faith to disappointing fundamentalist. I eventually couldn't keep my mouth shut when it got to, "Did you know there are fossils of sea creatures in the Himalayas? How did they get there if not by the great flood or the hand of god?". "*cough* Millions of years of tectonic uplift". Got a great blank stare from the woman for a few seconds, then she continued for a few minutes. She left, the Germans left, I caught up to the Germans, "I feel like I should stick up for the other side of the coin and encourage you to research carbon dating. It does work the way we think it does." They told me, "We know. And thank you for the tectonic plates bit. We just didn't want to sit there arguing all day". I proceeded to have one of the most fascinating conversations I've ever had for the 5 miles back to the parking lot. Differences between the USA and Germany on college, real estate, tipping customs, language in general, names of cartoon characters (He isn't Scrooge McDuck. Even though most Germans know the Scrooge reference). Stuff like that.
And the king of them all - John Bridge of Washington. He's been a painter, a pharmacology student, a limo driver, a hearing aid technician, and now he lives out of his truck - about to start what sounded a lot like a painting scam with a local. He's been surfing with coke dealers. He's met a pot dealer who killed a bear, had its teeth made into dentures, then eaten the bear with its own teeth. He once escaped arrest while drunk, high, and naked in his limo by invoking the name of Frank Sinatra (whom he had never met, but knew his daughter "Nina". Perhaps he meant Tina. Or I misheard). John then picked up Frank ("Call me Francis") and his wife years later and they had a good laugh about it. He drove for Bob Hope, slept on Bob's couch, and nearly got Bob's maid fired by drinking his liquor. He's dated and screwed one of Bob Dylan's ex-girlfriends. And the whole night I talked with him, he would break into a song on his guitar at random. But it was always the same Mamas and Papas song and I can't figure out which one because his singing was incomprehensible.
And a special shout-out to the trendy Asian kid wearing a shirt reading "COMME des FU'CKDOWN" in the Old Faithful cafeteria.