How was your day?

I barely slept last night and still sad about my dog's death. I had the loneliest dinner.

My mother was telling us how right before my dog was dying, she was walking around the house to see everyone once. I'm the only one she didn't see because I had my door closed. Then she went into the master bedroom to lie down and is when she was beginning to die (where my mother found her).

I keep replaying how my dog looked and how she sounded as she was dying in front of all of us. I don't think I'll ever forget that.

I'm starting to find closure in it though; my mother told us of our family friend's dog who died very painfully (throwing up, drooling, losing control) and ours didn't die that way.


And, for the first time, I did not enjoy video editing. My Tyrant shoe video was recorded 3 hours before she died.
I was also in the middle of a guild picture as she was dying (there was a uniform rule). I kept the Red Bridesmaid uniform stashed in my storage. I know that sounds dumb but I think I can't stomach throwing it away.

She's really gone and I have to accept it. I hate posting all this depressing crap but I'm starting to accept it.
I'm relieved that we're keeping her belongings.