How was your day?

I love seafood. I eat it absolutely every day. So I thought, "Why don't I go to a sushi bar? I've never been. It should be worth it."

So I went. And it was a comedy of errors.

I went to the first sushi bar. They were having happy hour. Buy one get one free on any similar colored plates. However, the server forgot about me after I gave my drink order. So I walked out. Never returning there.

Then I found another sushi bar just driving around. Went in there and was greeted and seated. I had no idea what any of the japanese meant, so I was pretty lost. I ended up getting some sashami salad and ika. But even ordering that was comical.

ME: I'd like squid sushi.
HER: Oh, ika! How many pieces?
ME: Just one... but I want seaweed instead of rice.
HER: You want seaweed with... ika? Seaweed with ika?!
ME: Yes, seaweed with ika.
HER: Okay... I guess.

As if there was something wrong with choosing something other than rice!

I was finally served the sashami dish. The next comedy of error was with the chopsticks. I took the chopsticks out of the packaging and tried to use it... but they were stuck together at the top. I tried to detach it but couldn't.

These... damn... things... wtp why are they so stuck together?

Eventually I got them apart, but I had to split them veritically and not horizontally. I damn near about broke the things in half.

I finished the sashami plate (delicious, btw) and then got to work on the ika.

This ika is really good. But what's this green dollop on the corner of the plate? Is that wasabi? No, it can't be wasabi. That's usually a liquid, right? Let me try the ika with this green thing. It must be something to make the ika taste better. Hmmm, it's pretty firm and hard to get on... there we go. It's all on now. Okay, now let's see how this tastes. Hmm... pretty good. Never thought I'd like squid. Oh god. Oh f'uck. I immediately regret this decision. WATER. MAKE IT STOP. MAKE IT STOP. I NEED WATER. JESUS CHRIST I TAKE IT ALL BACK.