2013-03-26, 02:52 PM
FrozNlite Wrote:Haha yes, that was my favorite quote of the post, because it underscores the debate for "changing" something about yourself. More often than not I hear from guys that they don't want to "change" for a relationship and that they shouldn't have to, and while I agree with that, I agree with the actual sentiment of not having to change, not how, it seems, most interpret it.
When people say "don't change yourself for a relationship," they mean you shouldn't have to "be someone you're not" in terms of changing your career path or acting "more masculine" or something. They DO NOT mean you're excused for poor hygiene, elements of dress, cleanliness around the house or apartment, and/or behavioral habits like being rude to wait staff or leaving used bags of tea around the house. These tend to be the simple things that everyone knows they shouldn't do, but it seems too many guys are lazy to do, and so, like the quote and Mandalay show, it's unbelievably annoying when guys ignore or even rebuke the time a girl takes getting ready, when she wants the same from you.
It's a sign of disrespect, in all honesty, to dress or act slovenly in the presence of a girl you're trying to woo who takes the time to dress well and
No, I think the point is that no matter how outgoing or shy you may be, if you want something in life, you have to go for it. And sure, that's more difficult for those with shy, introverted personalities, but let me ask you something: is it really? In the scope of love, that is. Is it really that difficult?
What is love? A deep, emotional, physical, and often spiritual connection between two people. The very foundation of the concept, of creating a successful, healthy relationship, is in beginning and continuously working on maintaining that connection. How do you expect to have that if you're too shy to talk to and be intimate with even one person? And I want to emphasis the maintenance part: a long term relationship takes time and effort to remain healthy and romantic. So if you succeed in finding the guts to ask her out, and get a chance at a date through which to build a relationship, all you've done is made it to the starting line.
All I'm trying to say is that of course the guy or girl can take the "leap of faith" in trying to create a relationship, but someone has to do it. And if you're too scared of even talking to and getting to know one person, is love truly something for you? That's not becoming something you're not, that's realizing the absolute base requirements of love and relationships and recognizing whether that's for you. Love requires more than one person, so recognize what that means if that thought scares you.
(Note the "you" above is general)
Nobody wants to die alone.
The thing is, it isn't easy to approach new people when you've had horrible past relationships or numerous rejections. Some handle it better than others, and some are too easily put down by the notion of rejection. I remember a particular relationship that I was in that left my impressions of other girls pretty jaded for quite a while; It might not be logical to assume that all women are equal (it isn't), but you tend not to think logically when you're overrun with emotion. (Even though I did eventually get over it, of course) Rejection, break ups, that sort of thing... can really wear on a person's self esteem. It tends to become difficult after a while to see yourself of any value to others when so many had (supposedly) deemed you inadequate.