2013-03-26, 10:38 AM
Mandalay Wrote:This. This. This. So much this! It's a lot of work for us to make ourselves look pretty. When guys peach about how girls take forever, it's a little irritating. You want to look at some pretty eye candy but you don't want to deal with the time factor? Geez.
It goes for both genders but If you're not happy with yourself, then for sanity's sake, what makes you think a relationship will provide that?
Haha yes, that was my favorite quote of the post, because it underscores the debate for "changing" something about yourself. More often than not I hear from guys that they don't want to "change" for a relationship and that they shouldn't have to, and while I agree with that, I agree with the actual sentiment of not having to change, not how, it seems, most interpret it.
When people say "don't change yourself for a relationship," they mean you shouldn't have to "be someone you're not" in terms of changing your career path or acting "more masculine" or something. They DO NOT mean you're excused for poor hygiene, elements of dress, cleanliness around the house or apartment, and/or behavioral habits like being rude to wait staff or leaving used bags of tea around the house. These tend to be the simple things that everyone knows they shouldn't do, but it seems too many guys are lazy to do, and so, like the quote and Mandalay show, it's unbelievably annoying when guys ignore or even rebuke the time a girl takes getting ready, when she wants the same from you.
It's a sign of disrespect, in all honesty, to dress or act slovenly in the presence of a girl you're trying to woo who takes the time to dress well and
Worthyness Wrote:It's sad to think that two very, truly nice friends, who embody all that the writer believes is truly nice, could easily just miss each other because they don't know how or when or why they can't be together. And they don't stop to think that maybe if one of them took that leap of faith that they could end up with one another. The author puts a very high emphasis on this "leap of faith" and rewards all the outgoing guy characters, but offers no suggestions to the shy individuals that she mentions in the beginning. Does that then mean that they slowly become the "nice" guys that the author hates? Or are they just true friends an loving people who others always comment on "OMG X! You are soOoOooo awesome to everyone and are super amazing! Any girl should be so lucky to have you! I don't understand why you don't have a girlfriend yet!"Are they punished because they aren't the type to take "that leap of faith"; to take that chance for the off chance that the pursuit lands them their goal? Must they become something that they are not in order to succeed in landing a relationship? It's a hard choice to make, but I believe that if the nice guy is for sure who he is, he will come to make the right decision for himself- leap of faith or not.
No, I think the point is that no matter how outgoing or shy you may be, if you want something in life, you have to go for it. And sure, that's more difficult for those with shy, introverted personalities, but let me ask you something: is it really? In the scope of love, that is. Is it really that difficult?
What is love? A deep, emotional, physical, and often spiritual connection between two people. The very foundation of the concept, of creating a successful, healthy relationship, is in beginning and continuously working on maintaining that connection. How do you expect to have that if you're too shy to talk to and be intimate with even one person? And I want to emphasis the maintenance part: a long term relationship takes time and effort to remain healthy and romantic. So if you succeed in finding the guts to ask her out, and get a chance at a date through which to build a relationship, all you've done is made it to the starting line.
All I'm trying to say is that of course the guy or girl can take the "leap of faith" in trying to create a relationship, but someone has to do it. And if you're too scared of even talking to and getting to know one person, is love truly something for you? That's not becoming something you're not, that's realizing the absolute base requirements of love and relationships and recognizing whether that's for you. Love requires more than one person, so recognize what that means if that thought scares you.
(Note the "you" above is general)