2013-03-26, 03:29 AM
While i believe the writer over generalized a little too much, her analysis is valid. That's the problem I have with labels- they come with an expectation of "what belongs where and who is portraying exactly what". I also think she puts a little too much blame on the guy-side of things, as relationships are a lot of give and take- her interpretation could easily have been misconstrued by her own experiences. I believe that in some cases (not all) the girl also has a role in leading the guy on (both "Nice" and nice guys). And I honestly think that it could easily be a mistake between the two if one (or both) parties don't cognitively know that what they're doing may be considered "wrong" or "offensive" or "not working". That's probably why she was very interested in the guy who just put himself outright because there was mutual communication and mutual acceptance (of a non-relationship, but rather a friendship).
On the other hand, more women could be more active in rejecting/accepting a friend's advances if it is as obvious to women as she makes it seem. That would save everyone a bunch of time and a lot less hurt in the long run. Women who leash both types of nice guys seem to be the woman counterpart to the "nice" guy- they just adore and love the attention; "an audience", to use the author's words. Again, a lot of things can be improved on both sides of this argument. It is not only the guy's job to search out for women. If she so chooses, this situation could easily be reversed, but no one ever talks about that one because that's not normal to hear about.
It's sad to think that two very, truly nice friends, who embody all that the writer believes is truly nice, could easily just miss each other because they don't know how or when or why they can't be together. And they don't stop to think that maybe if one of them took that leap of faith that they could end up with one another. The author puts a very high emphasis on this "leap of faith" and rewards all the outgoing guy characters, but offers no suggestions to the shy individuals that she mentions in the beginning. Does that then mean that they slowly become the "nice" guys that the author hates? Or are they just true friends an loving people who others always comment on "OMG X! You are soOoOooo awesome to everyone and are super amazing! Any girl should be so lucky to have you! I don't understand why you don't have a girlfriend yet!"Are they punished because they aren't the type to take "that leap of faith"; to take that chance for the off chance that the pursuit lands them their goal? Must they become something that they are not in order to succeed in landing a relationship? It's a hard choice to make, but I believe that if the nice guy is for sure who he is, he will come to make the right decision for himself- leap of faith or not.
On the other hand, more women could be more active in rejecting/accepting a friend's advances if it is as obvious to women as she makes it seem. That would save everyone a bunch of time and a lot less hurt in the long run. Women who leash both types of nice guys seem to be the woman counterpart to the "nice" guy- they just adore and love the attention; "an audience", to use the author's words. Again, a lot of things can be improved on both sides of this argument. It is not only the guy's job to search out for women. If she so chooses, this situation could easily be reversed, but no one ever talks about that one because that's not normal to hear about.
It's sad to think that two very, truly nice friends, who embody all that the writer believes is truly nice, could easily just miss each other because they don't know how or when or why they can't be together. And they don't stop to think that maybe if one of them took that leap of faith that they could end up with one another. The author puts a very high emphasis on this "leap of faith" and rewards all the outgoing guy characters, but offers no suggestions to the shy individuals that she mentions in the beginning. Does that then mean that they slowly become the "nice" guys that the author hates? Or are they just true friends an loving people who others always comment on "OMG X! You are soOoOooo awesome to everyone and are super amazing! Any girl should be so lucky to have you! I don't understand why you don't have a girlfriend yet!"Are they punished because they aren't the type to take "that leap of faith"; to take that chance for the off chance that the pursuit lands them their goal? Must they become something that they are not in order to succeed in landing a relationship? It's a hard choice to make, but I believe that if the nice guy is for sure who he is, he will come to make the right decision for himself- leap of faith or not.