2013-02-22, 12:05 AM
Unlike what DeanNim said, I would risk being in a relationship with someone in his situation if I absolutely thought they were the one. Obviously that's a huge reach, but you need to consider what HSV actually is.
OP, I don't know why everyone you've spoken to, doctors included, make it sound like they only got cold sores when with certain people. In virology, herpes is jokingly referred to as the "friend for life," because once you contract it, it's in your body for life (well, until a cure is found, if you're still alive by that time). Though this is a huge deal for Herpes Simplex Virus - 2 (HSV-2), the strain most known because it's the STI, Herpes Simplex Virus -1 (HSV-1) is mostly oral, and is therefore harmless, outside of being uncomfortable, unsightly, and infective during flare ups. After all, what do you think is the result of a relatively harmless oral virus that's with you for life? Fun fact: roughly 70-80% of the world is infected with HSV-1 (why do you think cold sores are so common?). So quit freaking out.
That being said, if you KNOW you are uninfected, and KNOW they're infected, and you aren't 5 years along in the relationship about to propose, it's definitely worth considering. You should also consider testing whether his oral cold sores are indeed HSV-1, because HSV-2 can present orally (if, for example, oral sex was performed on someone expressing genital lesions at the time), and you definitely don't want that.
tl;dr No one wants HSV but there's a huge distinction between HSV-1 and 2 and in all honesty it comes down to relationship dynamics if the only concern is HSV-1.
OP, I don't know why everyone you've spoken to, doctors included, make it sound like they only got cold sores when with certain people. In virology, herpes is jokingly referred to as the "friend for life," because once you contract it, it's in your body for life (well, until a cure is found, if you're still alive by that time). Though this is a huge deal for Herpes Simplex Virus - 2 (HSV-2), the strain most known because it's the STI, Herpes Simplex Virus -1 (HSV-1) is mostly oral, and is therefore harmless, outside of being uncomfortable, unsightly, and infective during flare ups. After all, what do you think is the result of a relatively harmless oral virus that's with you for life? Fun fact: roughly 70-80% of the world is infected with HSV-1 (why do you think cold sores are so common?). So quit freaking out.
That being said, if you KNOW you are uninfected, and KNOW they're infected, and you aren't 5 years along in the relationship about to propose, it's definitely worth considering. You should also consider testing whether his oral cold sores are indeed HSV-1, because HSV-2 can present orally (if, for example, oral sex was performed on someone expressing genital lesions at the time), and you definitely don't want that.
tl;dr No one wants HSV but there's a huge distinction between HSV-1 and 2 and in all honesty it comes down to relationship dynamics if the only concern is HSV-1.