Life and relationship help

As we all know, I'm one of the most succesful southperrians in relationships and life in general. And also a really bored one at the moment.

So now, for the first time, instead of paying just to see Dr. Phil, you can simply ask help in this thread and I will answer with my very best knowledge.

What is a cucumber?

What is a cucumber?

The cucumber (Cucumis sativus) is a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family Cucurbitaceae, which includes squash, and in the same genus as the muskmelon. The plant is a creeping vine which bears cylindrical edible fruit. There are three main varieties of cucumber: "slicing", "pickling", and "burpless". Within these varieties, several different cultivars have emerged.The cucumber is originally from India, but is now grown on most continents. Many different varieties are traded on the global market.
Cucumbers in Spain tend to look very suspicious, which is one of the reasons that they were blamed for EHEC virus in Europe.

Make a list of Your girlfriends with this information

Name | Phone Number | Picture | Are you joking: Yes/No

Make a list of Your girlfriends with this information

Name | Phone Number | Picture | Are you joking: Yes/No

3 things:
1) I won't give you the info because any successful partner knows that giving information of your partner to the internets would risk the whole relationship.
2) This is life & relationship help not a blog about my personal life.
3) I don't have and I have never had more than 1 girlfriend, because I'm so successful in my current one.

Okay so what if you were sexually assaulted by a fat woman in your sleep who was obsessed with you and got pregnant while your girlfriend was also pregnant and they both made you choose between the two with the other one not chosen would commit suicide and the fat one also happens to be the daughter with enough power to kill everyone you know and has currently injected you with an advanced version of the aids virus and only he has the cure but your girlfirends cousins wife is the doctor who made the cure so she can produce but only with the dead corpse of the one you love, but your girlfriend gains the ability of a super sayjin and says she'll blow up the universe if you don't choose her but the fat chicks father says he'll nuke the world if you don't choose his daughter.

Who do you choose?

The cucumber (Cucumis sativus) is a widely cultivated plant in the gourd family Cucurbitaceae, which includes squash, and in the same genus as the muskmelon. The plant is a creeping vine which bears cylindrical edible fruit. There are three main varieties of cucumber: "slicing", "pickling", and "burpless". Within these varieties, several different cultivars have emerged.The cucumber is originally from India, but is now grown on most continents. Many different varieties are traded on the global market.
Cucumbers in Spain tend to look very suspicious, which is one of the reasons that they were blamed for EHEC virus in Europe.

What is Wikipedia?

I was going to take this thread seriously until I saw it was in the shenanigans forum.

Okay so what if you were sexually assaulted by a fat woman in your sleep who was obsessed with you and got pregnant while your girlfriend was also pregnant and they both made you choose between the two with the other one not chosen would commit suicide and the fat one also happens to be the daughter with enough power to kill everyone you know and has currently injected you with an advanced version of the aids virus and only he has the cure but your girlfirends cousins wife is the doctor who made the cure so she can produce but only with the dead corpse of the one you love, but your girlfriend gains the ability of a super sayjin and says she'll blow up the universe if you don't choose her but the fat chicks father says he'll nuke the world if you don't choose his daughter.

Who do you choose?

This is a very rare dilemma but I do have a solution to this.

1. You call police
2. They arrest both the fat chick and his father and take the cure of advanced AIDS from the fat chick.
3. You ask the police to force abort on that fat chick.
4. Then you just live happily with your girlfriend for the rest of your life.

This is a very rare dilemma but I do have a solution to this.

1. You call police
2. They arrest both the fat chick and his father and take the cure of advanced AIDS from the fat chick.
3. You ask the police to force abort on that fat chick.
4. Then you just live happily with your girlfriend for the rest of your life.

You're then afraid to have sex and your girlfriend dumps you. GGGGG

How are babies made?

How are babies made?

When you b`itch them out and tell them the truth of their miserable life.

How do I shot web? I try and try, and just can't do it.

How are babies made?

Just like in Dumbo. Whether your dad had sex with the heron is another question.

How do I shot web? I try and try, and just can't do it.

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