Because I'm only 9 years old

I cannot yet buy liquor. But I want to make this for Mother's day tomorrow. This could be nice too because my mother likes Kirby, or maybe even this because it looks pretty. But I cannot buy liquor, nor can I find Mountain Dew white.

What do I do?

Buy liquor.

But I cannot, I...

Buy liquor.

You stand outside of the store, wait for a tall, older male adult to pass you buy, ask them to buy you liquor for you, and tell him you'll pay him for buying it for you.

You stand outside of the store, wait for a tall, older male adult to pass you buy, ask them to buy you liquor for you, and tell him you'll pay him for buying it for you.

But he smells and his skin is brown.

That's the stench of wisdom! And his skin's brown because he's traveled around the world and the dirt won't come off!
He's a worldly trustworthy sage of great caliber. Just ask him!

Have faith in the man.

I'll buy it for you, where do you live?

Is that just an exaggeration, or are you actually 9? I didn't even realize 9 year olds were able to figure out how to register to things like forums, darn these kids and their increasing cleverness...
Don't have any adult aged relatives to buy it for you? I'm sure if you told them it was for your mother they would help out...

Inb4Sarahragesathowhethinkseveryonejerksofftoyou

Is that just an exaggeration, or are you actually 9? I didn't even realize 9 year olds were able to figure out how to register to things like forums, darn these kids and their increasing cleverness...
Don't have any adult aged relatives to buy it for you? I'm sure if you told them it was for your mother they would help out...

I think adults undermine the intelligence of children. How many things did you hide from your parents when you were 9?

I think adults undermine the intelligence of children. How many things did you hide from your parents when you were 9?

I wasn't even allowed on a computer until 12, and we HAD computers, my dad is/was a network admin. About the only thing I did that I didn't want them to find out about was playing video games at night, especially once I got my laptop. They blocked my wireless access when they found out, I used the neighbors, they found out again eventually, they took the laptop, I borrowed a friend's laptop and they never found out about that. An endless cycle of addiction to Diablo II, ;_;. By high school I was sleeping 30-45 minutes a night and playing D2/attending class the rest of the time, I didn't even skip school much because I thought they might find out I still wasn't ever sleeping, lol. Massacred my grades, I graduated with a 3.2 when I could easily have pulled a 3.8+ if I had invested myself in it, though I don't regret it in the least honestly.

He is buying me the drinks, but I do not have enough money, do I run before he comes back?

He is buying me the drinks, but I do not have enough money, do I run before he comes back?

offer him your body in exchange

offer him your body in exchange

kill him then o.O

kill him then o.O

Don't forget to steal the liquor as well?

kill him then o.O

I would, but I did not bring my knives with me today.

Give him your pantsu instead... Oh wait you aren't in japan...