Portal 2 - homosexual recruitment software

Whoops, never mind. Link actually is a tad explicit.

[fright][/fright]
As a Christian father, I choose not to allow video games into my household, but occasionally my boys will have sleep overs with other Christian families that might be more lax than ours. Imagine my surprise the other day when I overheard my second oldest boy talking about a video game he had played at a friend’s house. As soon as I heard the name “Portal 2”, my suspicions grew and I immediately found myself wondering which body part the game might be referring to.

I rushed to the computer that I keep locked away from my impressionable children, and what I found was truly disturbing. Just 10 minutes of Bing research produced so much evidence that this game was a homosexual recruitment tool that I have now forbidden it. You better believe that I called the other father and gave him a good talking to. As a devout Christian, he agreed with me and has now burned his Portal 2 DVD on his barbeque grill to make sure this threat to his family is gone for good.

Here are some of the things I have learned: This game is made by Valve software, a wholly owned subsidiary of NAMBLA – the people who invented child molestation. Just the name “valve” produces images in the mind of a Christian man that should not be there.

Should children be forced to see a room full of giant black dildoes?


An actual AID’s infested bath house.

Game play takes place in a giant gay bath house, where children are encouraged to use their mechanical penis guns to create glory holes. In case you haven’t heard of this filth, “glory holes” are all the rage in gay circles, where sweating homosexuals drill holes into walls and then perform sex through them, without having to show their guilt ridden faces. There is one thing a homosexual hates, and that is for their shame to be seen in the light of day. That is why their bars and bath houses are kept so dark at all times. And believe me friend, this game is dark and shadowy.


Glory hole in the game.


Glory hole in homo-gay bath house. Hard to tell the difference, right?

There are two adorable robots. Who doesn’t love robots? Kids sure do. Well, these 2 robots are a homosexual couple. The tall one is the dominate bear and the little one is the swishing bottom. Even the voices are clearly transexual which is a dead give away. I shudder to think of what life style choices a little child will think is decent after pretending to be one of these two mechanical gays. Instead of penises, they have glowing red and blue lights in their sex area.


What is being taught to our children?

(Next image is not child friendly, so have this instead)

Is this what you want for your white Chrisian son?

As if that was not enough, there are mechanical testicles and gay saunas around every corner. Not enough? Well this game introduces “gels” which help the innocent children slide through a glowing red sphincter.


I could go on, but my stomach is turning at this latest homo-gay invention. There is nothing christ-centered in this game. Protect your children from this latest assault from the gay agenda.

gay bath house filfth, just like the game

Uh....... wow. That article is so dumb not even worthy of a Pony reaction image.

That was exciting.

This is why I have converted.

What does he think of when he goes for a drive through a street? Gay sex with everything? He has enough phobia in him to create so much out of a game, yet he lets boys sleep together; from his stand point that would go against the whole universe.

This is why I have converted.

Nice avatar.

Obvious troll is obvious :c

Lol'd

 Major spoiler

This is called satire.

hahahaha

Obvious troll is obvious :c

Thing is, it's actually kinda hard to tell if you look at the rest of the site this was posted on. Comments are filled with trolls though, because it was undoubtedly posted on /v/ or something before it found its way to me. Of course, the whole site could be a trollercoaster, but I woudn't even be surprised if it wasn't.

After all, you had articles like this that were written years ago and (seem) to seriously trying to convey a message. I'm not even going to mention a certain Baptist Church.

Good! I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with the undeserved NAMBLA loving support shown on these very forums towards this insidious game. I'm glad for one that the truth is being brought to light regarding the inner conspiracies regarding this "game".

I used to be a non-believer too, going as far as to engage in actually playing Portal 1,without realizing this sick twisted influences it was weaving in my mind. In the end I was stuck wondering if the cake was a lie, but it's clear now the cake was a metaphor for our lord and savior. And this satanic trash heap was pounding in my head the idea that all that I believe in was a lie. I know better.

hahaohwow.png times a billion.

Good! I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with the undeserved NAMBLA loving support shown on these very forums towards this insidious game. I'm glad for one that the truth is being brought to light regarding the inner conspiracies regarding this "game".

I used to be a non-believer too, going as far as to engage in actually playing Portal 1,without realizing this sick twisted influences it was weaving in my mind. In the end I was stuck wondering if the cake was a lie, but it's clear now the cake was a metaphor for our lord and savior. And this satanic trash heap was pounding in my head the idea that all that I believe in was a lie. I know better.

I KNOW, RIGHT!?

I felt so morally offended playing Portal! Words cannot express my joy that someone has put the word out that Portal is a gay sex supporting game and influences young ones to convert to homosexuality! Just the thought of having a guy playing a game where he goes through multicolored holes screams gay!

We should send this to the Pope and get Portal and Portal 2 banned in all countries!

I KNOW, RIGHT!?

I felt so morally offended playing Portal! Words cannot express my joy that someone has put the word out that Portal is a gay sex supporting game and influences young ones to convert to homosexuality! Just the thought of having a guy playing a game where he goes through multicolored holes screams gay!

We should send this to the Pope and get Portal and Portal 2 banned in all countries!

What would our founding fathers think of such blasphemy? Is this what our first president, Jesus Christ, died for?

This is so stupid I am speechless.

I laughed.

The Protagonist is a female and the main villain is a female (sort of). This should have been about lesbians.

:f6: <- My expresion reading the whole article and thread.

What I did right after reading the article:

 Spoiler