Southperry unOC Challenge [an asterisk(*)]

Each and every one of you have been creating posts since the dawn of Funhouse and will continue to create posts. It can be an awesome post with tons of potential, like quite a few we've had before! Don't give me pomegranatety posts during these first two weeks of 2010. Anything you want! There's a catch, though.

It has to create a coherent tale of sorts while being as meme-dense as you can possibly make it. Get creative! Give me sound and movie clips, panels of comics, copypasta; but make it all coherent in some way. Excite my brain with brilliant meme usage! Incoherent posting of material involving a single meme is old hat. I'll arbitrarily say your story can be as short or long as it needs to be to include THREE memes. But we're going for density, so pack it in tight if you're only going to use three memes. I will be judge, and I will be judging with no real scale other than lulz and my own sense of dense. Winner gets the eternal hatred of like... a third of the Funhouse regulars. GO!

Biased bonus points given for:
-Southperry memes - Shawn Johnson, goggles, derailing this thread with a meme-tale, derailing a different thread with a meme-tale (hard mode), etc
-I laugh myself to tears (extra hard mode)
-Stories made entirely with pre-4chan memes
-Totally audio stories (i.e. with video clips. Feel free to direct me to the few seconds of speech you want from the clip, don't bother to edit the video)
-Calling me out with a story that uses the material I got this idea from (Must use said material within a story!)

INSTANT WIN!
Make Greg laugh

Fail

tl;dr

.